Friday, October 16, 2009

Maryland Driving: Stories From the Rain Swept Highway

I wonder why Maryland drivers cannot drive in the rain.

It seems that as the little drops of precipitation fall from the sky, the skills of Maryland drivers drops to a negative number.


1. Ignore the wet road and continue to drive aggressively to facilitate redecorating your car with an oak tree hood ornament. The flowers in the headlights add a nice touch as well.

2. Become paralyzed with fear and slow to 15 MPH to allow traffic to congregate around you as other, more rational drivers contemplate how to get by with or without causing an accident. Many are contemplating how to force you off the road.

3. Tailgate so that when the driver in front taps their brakes you have no choice but to veer off the roadway into the manicured median strip.

4. While driving a pick-up truck, attempt to rapidly accelerate while going up a clover leaf onto I-95 to facilitate doing a 360 degree turn in the roadway and hoping not to involve any other unsuspecting driver(s) in the ensuing situation as you careen off the road surface--backwards. Is that what they call putting the cart before the horse?

5. While attempting to merge onto the controlled access highway in the rain during rush hour, come to a complete stop at the end of the on ramp to wait for a gap in traffic sufficient to allow entry from a standing start. Wait for a really large gap because the road is wet and you don't want to spin your tires as you accelerate. Wonder why there are so many cars in line behind you. Look confused when other drivers give you animated gestures as they pass you.

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