Thursday, May 9, 2013

Remembering the Recent Past


I went back through some old email the other day. I was cleaning out the files of life from five or more years ago which has been sitting around taking up space.

I reread some of the topics and looked at some of the return addresses. I saw people and remembered events that were pivotal in my like, then, which are no longer even a little part of my daily existence.

I was left with the realization about how far I've come and how much has changed from roughly the time that Jax was born. So many friendships broken--torn apart followed by new ones founded.

I felt a pang of sadness as I relegated those old emails and the memories they rekindled to the "bit" bucket. I have lost touch with many of the people in those emails and I have certainly moved on into other pursuits. 

I guess that is the way life. I grow, change and sometimes move on. In retrospect, the lost relationships are sad, but without growing and moving forward (and sometime onward) I fear that I may lose my zest for life. 

Do people sometimes hold me back? Do my relationships keep me safe or from doing those wild things that I might otherwise attempt? Yes, definitely and that is both a good and bad thing. Sometimes I am too safe, and I rebel in potentially destructive ways. But by living too safe, I fail to grasp at the good opportunities to experience life and grow.

The latest project around the house is closely related to my email cleansing. Chris and I are trying to get my office under control. I am having a difficult time parting with some of the old books and items I have collected through the years. Her view is that are gathering dust--so why keep them. I look at them and they help me find the associated memories. I might never recall those memories without the aid of those dust-gathering items.

Chris and I are heading off to our High School reunion next month. That should be an experience seeing so many of the people we grew up with but with whom we have lost touch. 

Changes are tough and remembering lost memories can be even tougher.

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD




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