Troy Graduates - 2008

What a weekend it was. The main event spanned two days---Thursday night was the actual graduation while Saturday was the party. As with any family event--it was a lot of fun and some work. Chris and Jodie spent most of Friday preparing the awesome Saturday party feast. On top of the graduation--Troy turned 18 as well, so there was a lot to party about.

It is just fantastic when the entire family gets together as we can celebrate success. And the day was a beautiful day. I even spent some time in Jodie and Matt's pool with Ethan--who was in rare form and loves playing with Trevar. He also is the ultimate party animal and always needs to blow out the candles. These were special candles--they continued to burn after they were extinguished. Unfortunately, one of them accidentally burned Ethan--he was not amused. It was good to see how everyone came together to celebrate these special events in Troy's life.

Gut Check--Take Care of Yourself!

On Sunday as we were driving home from NY, I had a real gut check--I received a call from work to inform me that one of my colleagues and friends had a heart attack earlier in the day. He was doing well and was in the hospital. He is younger than I am and in good health. It hit everyone I work with real hard on Monday. We are a pretty tight group.

Our jobs can be real high stress and are always fast paced. We often fail to take care of ourselves--and I'm not saying that he didn't, but in our business we really need to focus on stress relief and cardio conditioning to stay on top of the challenges we face every day. His experience is reinforcing that for everyone. I had one guy I used to paly racquetball with even get a court for the afternoon and we played for the first time in over a year.

I went and visited him in the hospital Monday evening and he is in good spirits. He said that he was real happy to be able to be talking to me. As it turned out--he was aware of the warning signs and didn't wait on getting to the hospital--good on him which is why he will have a quicker recovery. I, given the same circumstances would probably not have fared nearly so well, as my experience with my recently discovered shrimp allergy will attest.

Tim Russert's recent death has had a profound effect on many middle-aged men; hopefully for the better. His death and my friend's experience makes me face my own mortality, despite my best efforts to ignore it. I guess we each need to face our mortality, it is a humbling experience to know we don't control the number of days we are alloted. Live each day to the fullest and make sure you tell your loved ones how much they mean to you. It may be the words they need to get through the rest of their lives.

E armed with a camera

OK--it was a great weekend in upstate NY attending Troy's graduation. And we had a great time. Did you ever wonder what would happen if a three-year old were armed with a camera? During the family party for Troy, to celebrate both

his graduation from high school and his 18th birthday, Ethan decided to take some pictures. He has an interesting perspective on the world. He was fun to watch, because he would look into the viewfinder and click the camera and when the image showed he announced: "Got it!"

Well, here are a couple of Ethan's photos to give you an idea of his very different perspective. The world is very different when you are three. And I am glad that Ethan captured his view of the world for us at the party this weekend. At least Jackson didn't seem to mind the attention. And we will all be able to remember E's feet and toes. He does have a movement issue when he snaps the images, but seeing these images reminds me how much fun he was to watch looking for things to take pictures of.

Change of Pace - Music

I was listening to oldies radio the other day and a song from the early 70's came crashing through the mental fog associated with driving home after a long day. The song was Carly Simon's "You're So Vain" and I was reminded of the problem I had with the song when it came out. Perspective.

Here are some of the words to remind you of the song:


Lyrics by: Carly Simon
Music by: Carly Simon

You walked into the party
Like you were walking onto a yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf it was apricot
You had one eye in the mirror
As you watched yourself gavotte
And all the girls dreamed
That they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner, and....
You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?


I still remember that I never understood the words--

I'll bet you think this song is about you

Because, it seemed pretty obvious to me, at the time, that the song was about the person walking into the party, and flying to Nova Scotia to see the eclipse. I mean who else is it about?

And what in the world is gavotte? Ever wonder that? An old French dance?

As I listened to the song though the other day, and I know I had not really thought too deeply about it in over 30 years, it suddenly dawned on me who the song is about. It is about the writer (Carly). It is a matter of perspective which was getting in the way of recognizing that.

I went to a site that has a discussion board about the song, just to see if I was potentially right. And here is what I found:

The song ultimately is about her and how she was used. The irony is that the vain person is only going to hear how it's about him because that's the essence of vanity-that everything revolves around "you." I still think that vain person's a single guy. If so, couldn't someone just figure out who owned a horse that raced at Saratoga or went to see an eclipse in Nova Scotia unless that's altered.

Suspicion confirmed! And so the song is really very deep.

How many times do we read or see or hear something and think it is about us when in reality someone is trying to tell us something about themselves in the context of our relationship with them--only we don't hear it? We're too busy being about ourselves. Because our world is all about us.

Believe in Your Team

Teams are resilient. Teams have a sense of purpose and along with that a sense of ability and what I call "identity." Teams project their ability--confidence or incompetence to outsiders. Teams need to believe in and be confident in themselves, that they can overcome obstacles and more importantly that they are not victims but rather in charge of their destiny and their situation.

The role of the leader is to build the team to believe it can overcome obstacles. There needs to be a sense that when working together, the team will succeed in any situation--whether it's true or not, a defeatist attitude becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. The difference between the word "will" and "can" is very important. "Can" almost always has an "if" attached to it. "Will" stands alone!

Leaders who practice the philosophy of tearing down team members in order to rebuild them do a disservice to themselves and the whole team. As part of the whole process of individual development for team members, leaders need to encourage their team members to believe in their strengths and to recognize their weaknesses. Then, continue to develop their strengths and minimize their weaknesses. As a leader--using the individual strengths on the team for the good of the whole team will provide success. The process of tearing down instills doubt which may not be overcome with the result being that the team loses the benefit of the individual's strengths.

I'm an Orioles fan. And most everyone who looks at the 2008 team recognizes they are not the best team in baseball on paper. There are some glaring weaknesses--shortstop, starting pitching, catcher, and first base to name a few. At the beginning of the season the team was estimated to lose over 100 games (and they still may, but I hope not). But as of today, 74 games into the season, the O's are 2 games above .500. No one, but the O's themselves believed at the start of the season that they would be able to post success in the toughest division in all of baseball. What's the difference this year than last? They believe they can do it. Night after night as they have been coming from behind the post game reporters are hearing that the team never gives up and that they always believe they can and will win. And then someone, a different guy every night it seems, picks the team up and they win. Leadership continues to instill that kind of winning attitude and for now it's working.

In our own teams, it is up to the leader to instill the winning, can-do type of approach. Put people in position to succeed and develop the team's sense of character. One way leaders encourage this is to build the team members up and empower them to take risks--they may not always succeed, but it is in the trying and the taking of risks that people learn that they are a lot more capable that they thought they were. And in taking risks as a team, combating adversity, teams learn they are more capable than they thought they were, too.

Believe in your team--they won't let you down. Teams reflect their leadership, build them up and they will begin to accomplish what you thought was unimaginable yesterday.

Teams - Avoid the Drama

Have you ever been in a situation that when you get together with your team (whatever team whether you are the leader or not) there is some sort of drama. And it seems there is always drama--someone changing something or upset about changes to something. It becomes an initiative killer after a while.

What do I mean by drama?

Drama is when there is always a crisis causing the team to change directions from what they were doing. Drama is caused by personnel turbulence or problems. Drama may be tied to secretiveness to allow the leadership can shoot for effect on new ideas. Drama is characterized by a continual state of upheaval where no one really knows what's going to happen next.

What else is drama? Constant changes to the direction of a project or task. Deciding that although one approach was planned, another approach is necessary. While this will happen at times through the natural course of events, once it becomes the norm, the drama factor is high.

Drama is a leadership issue. It is a control related issue and may also be related to bad planning or communication.

Weak leaders believe they can control the team better by ensuring that no one but them has a clue of what is happening. Constant changes allow only those in the know to be able to set policy and direction.

In some cases, drama may simply be the result of poor planning and inefficient communication. Better planning and more intra-team communication may reduce the apparent drama level.

Drama caused by non-leaders on a team is an attempt to control the activities of the team.

Stamp out drama. Drama causes team members to expend emotional energy and work time to adapt to the changes. There is a resultant loss in productivity due to the replanning necessary to adapt or to the changes. Recognize drama for what it is--negative energy seeking to disrupt the team.

How to reduce drama?

If it is a leadership style--change styles. Recognize that continual drama is sapping individual team member creativity and reducing productivity. While it may appear to the leader that creativity is being infused into the team, recognize that last minute changes or unprogrammed schedule changes causes team members to expend energy to adapt.

Leaders often do not notice the energy team members expend adapting to drama because they are looking at the problem from the top down rather than the bottom up. What is the job of a leader? To make sure the team has the personnel, resources, and guidance necessary to accomplish the task. Secondarily, the job of the leader is to provide an environment where the team can function to accomplish its mission. Drama disrupts the environment.

If drama is being caused by a team member--deal with it. Don't let it continue. Find out the root cause or the "WHY" and address it. Be careful and recognize it may be a challenge to your leadership style, so be prepared for a deep and potentially difficult discussion.

Drama is OK in the theater, but in a team setting over time it will drain the emotion and creativity out of a team. Team drama stems from a control problem--either weak leadership skills or a challenge to the team leadership. It must be addressed or the team will suffer.

Make Another Rainbow Pop-pop

The blue eyes, highlighted by the red hair pierced deep into my soul as I was standing outside talking to a neighbor after just showing Ethan the beauty of rainbows following an afternoon sun shower. He stood there looking at me and said: "Make another rainbow, Pop-pop!" The rainbows had faded, being replaced by the dark clouds. Ethan was fascinated by the colors of the rainbows and he correctly named each one. Many times. It was something different and occurring so closely on the heels of defeating three dragons, an alligator, and a wolf it really made for a memorable afternoon.

What do I say? I was momentarily panicked. Here was this three-year old thinking I could do anything, if I wanted to do it. I had pointed out the rainbow to him when I saw the shower appear. And it was a rare triple rainbow with another rainbow above it--they were truly something special. The family had gathered on the front step of the house to look at the rainbows--Ethan, me, his mother, Chris (gramma), and baby Jax .

Wow--I thought quickly, I really need to say the right thing. Those blue eyes still peering intently at me, waiting for an answer. And then it hit me--tell Ethan the truth.

Duh!

Ethan, I said, Pop-pop can't make rainbows, God makes rainbows and he made the ones we just saw. And sometime soon you will see another rainbow. And God will have made that one, too. Enjoy it when you see it.

Ethan -- Dragon Hunter

Yesterday, I took a short walk through a jungle near Piney Orchard. Jungle in Maryland, you ask? The jungle was in the mind of Ethan, my three-year old grandson, but we were on a real walk around the neighborhood and along a path through a thicket of trees. During our short outing, Ethan single-handedly saved me and his grandmother from three dragons, a huge alligator, and a wolf. There may have been a brief encounter with a dinosaur--but I don't remember many of the specifics.

Interestingly, you can defeat fire-breathing dragons by spraying them with water--they shrink--much like the wicked witch of the west. It was a scary experience (and a lot of fun) running through the ultra creative mind of a three-year old. He was very brave in attacking and defeating the fierce fire-breathing dragons. He charged forward like a knight from the old tales into the jaws of fire armed with only his hose.

Ethan marched on into the jaws of impending doom--only to vanquish the evil and fiery dragon. Then, after defeating not one, but three dragons were were attacked by a giant alligator. Ethan sensed that the alligator would not be defeated by water alone, so he chose a different course of action--RUN! And we did. We only outran the alligator after leaving the jungle and returning to the placid neighborhood where he lives.

But wait--then a large wolf chased us and threatened to blow not only Ethan's house down, but the whole block! Unfortunately for the wolf, Ethan was prepared and he outran the wolf into the safety of his waiting mother's arms--who was unloading groceries. It was an experience not to be missed and helped to change my outlook on another stressful day. At least I'm not facing three dragons, a giant alligator, and a giant wolf at work! Whew! I bet Ethan slept well last night after all of that hard work!

Orioles Magic - The Season of Magic Continues

So I am a huge Orioles fan. There is no doubt that my current favorite player is Brian Roberts, the Second Baseman--I wear a jersey with his number on it to every game.

I was lucky enough to be in attendance last night, June 17th, when the Orioles pulled off another “come-from-behind” victory in the bottom of the eighth inning. And our closer held the victory in the top of the ninth. Baseball has always been a love of mine and I have been a true Orange Orioles fan through the past ten years of less that stellar performances. The team this year just excites me. The are fun to watch. They never quit. They believe that can win. And the fans are really beginning to believe in them, too.

I don't know what the rest of the season will hold for the O's, but there is absolutely no reason not to enjoy this team right now and celebrate their enthusiasm.

So I decided to learn the words to Orioles Magic-- the song. First I had to find them--and here they are

Something magic happens, everytime you go

You make the magic happen, the magic of Orioles' Baseball!

When the game is close, and the O's are hot

There's a thundering roar from 34 to give it all they've got

And you never know who's gonna hear the call

Every game there's a different star

That's the magic of Orioles' Baseball!
Orioles Magic! Feel it happen!

Orioles Magic! Feel it happen!
O - R - I - O - L - E - S !
Magic! Magic! Magic! Magic!

Something magic happens, everytime you go

You make the magic happen, the magic of Orioles' Baseball!

When Weaver moves and we score the runs

Nothing could be more exciting

Nothing could be more fun!

There's a love affair between you and the team

You're the reason we win when we win

And you know what the magic means!

Orioles Magic! Feel it happen!

Orioles Magic! Feel it happen!

Orioles Magic! Feel it happen!

Orioles Magic! Feel it happen!
O - R - I - O - L - E - S !

Magic! Magic! Magic! Magic!

Orioles Magic! Feel it happen!
Magic! Magic! Magic! Magic!

Something magic happens….

End of the Year Party

We hosted the end of the year party for the Seventh Grade Team at Lime Kiln Middle School yesterday. Unfortunately, a passing thunderstorm ended the party early--but it was a great celebration of the year and there was much talk about next year--already.

But it's only June, you say! Yes, but for the Howard County teachers, the school year is thankfully over and summer is upon them. I, of course, am not a teacher--but I too enjoy summer and having Chris around more to do the things that she finds important. What does she find important? Well, she's off to Salt Lake City on Saturday for five days with our daughter Nicole.

Then when she returns next week, on Thursday we are off to Ithaca for our nephew's graduation from venerable Ithaca High School. Coincidentally, we were going to attend our 35th anniversary of graduating from Ithaca High School that same weekend--but the two party's clashed and we decided the new trumps the old.

We return from Ithaca on Sunday, June 29th and on Saturday of that week--July 5th we are off to Florida for two weeks and our favorite spot in Jupiter. And I love Jupiter and getting away from it all. And get this--since we were bugularized within the past month, we don't even need to worry about the house. All the good stuff is already gone!

We return on the 18th of July and head off to a wedding on the 19th. And then, I guess, Chris gets a couple weeks of rest. Of course, I go back to work!

Ah, summer vacation. Where is the rest and relaxation exactly?