Monday Musings - June 17, 2013

1. I saw a number of meaningful quotes related to Father's Day during church yesterday. They helped to remind me of the importance of both being a father and a son. The most meaningful thought of the day was:
 The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.

– Theodore Hesburgh

2. Hiking a trail in the forest on Saturday reminded me of being a kid when the forest was my playground.

3. Baseball season is nearing the half-way point. The O's have played 70 of the 162 scheduled games.

4. Summer vacation has arrived for the schools--I am just a little bit envious.

5. The release of the summer blockbuster movies is underway--I saw Man of Steel yesterday as part of my Father's Day present. It is a great reboot.

6. I am amazed how slowly insurance companies act when they are wasting my time and money, but how quickly things begin to move when it is their nickel.

7. The pool saw a workout this weekend. After adding some heat, it was a great place to enjoy on the almost hot weekend afternoons.

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

Hiking Along the Patapsco

Patapsco State Park

An idyllic day requires unique activity. Yesterday, we did just that. Hiking along the Patapsco River with two of the grandsons, Jax and Ethan, enjoying the low humidity and a bit too mild temperatures.

It is, after all, mid-June and I would expect temperatures in the high 80's and struggling to reach 80.

We hiked one of the trails to a waterfall, and amazingly kept the boys dry. We forded various creeks along the way almost without incident.

The scenery was peaceful and the exercise tired the boys. And the grandparents, too.

It was, something different on a placid enjoyable Saturday afternoon.

There was fun on the trails and rocks to throw into pools of water, without, of course, hitting each other.

After the hike, it was off to the pool for a well deserved afternoon swim and relaxing evening.

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

Changing it Up

Looking Towards the Statehouse in Annapolis

Sometimes life needs a change up. I find that on occassion  I need to do something different that either pushes me out of my comfort zone or deeper into it.

Last evening, it was deeper into my comfort zone. We headed off to Annapolis to enjoy the evening, the water, and the ambiance of that great city.  While it is not a beach where I can put my toes in the sand, Chris and I along with  a few of our friends found a table on the water to watch the comings and goings. It made for an enjoyable exclamation mark on the ending of the work week.

The evening was glorious, cool--but not cold, with low and pleasant humidity. I was comfortable in my Friday attire--an aloha shirt.

It seemed that everyone like us who had been held hostage to the storms of the week decided to come out to experience life on or near the water. It is evenings like last evening that sometimes cause me to think a bit too seriously about getting a boat--but in reality, I do not have time for a boat. I enjoy boats vicariously through the lives of others.

Last evening, I was deriving enjoyment and moments of pleasure from the sights, the sounds, and the activity in the harbor.

The sky was blue with puffy clouds. The storms were gone and the world was bathed in warm sunshine.

It was, for a few hours, an enjoyable respite from the week behind and a launching pad into the weekend ahead.

Yes, I usually enjoy sitting on my back deck--but sometimes I just need to change it up.

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

And the Other Driver Drove Away

I have been reflecting upon the accident which occurred one week ago today.

Frustration at the slowness and the prospect of spending potentially thousands to replace my vehicle.

I am still hung up on being the victim and the responsible party seemingly gets off. The other driver doesn't have enough insurance to cover my vehicle, clearly was at fault, and still is shirking their responsibility for the accident.

I am glad that no one was seriously injured, but I hate car shopping. And spending the money.

There are a lot of cars out there--but I am stile mired in the thought, why does it have to be my car that took the brunt of the accident?

But it did.

Sometimes life doesn't seem fair. But then, life isn't fair. Life just is. We add the value to life and try to discern fairness--but in truth, there is little fairness.

That is why the other driver drove away in a seemingly unharmed vehicle and mine is still being assessed for damages.


-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

Funny Headlines--Can Bear's Really do That?

While at my parents over the weekend going through old photos and newspaper clippings, I ran across a headline which had no relationship to the reason the paper was retained--but it was funny.

How can something like having a bear drop out of the sky onto a car happen?

The photo on the page below the headline is actually of my Dad and his brothers who had gathered for a reunion after 50 years, but upon inspecting the paper--the headline stole the show.

The bear fell from a tree over a road onto a convertible.

What a rotten day for the driver--and the bear as well for that matter.

It was a good day for my Dad and his brothers though.  They had a great reunion.

I've noticed other funny headlines in papers--although I have been so desensitized to them that I frequently do more than note their passing.

This one, though, was special and made me launch and read the article.

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

Punish the Victims

Sadly it had already begun, in the aftermath of the auto accident which occurred on Friday the victims are in the process of being soundly punished for being in the wrong place in time.

Day two of working with the insurance companies didn't go well. While the at fault driver in the accident, according to the police report, drove away from the scene in his relatively undamaged vehicle, I cannot even seem to get my vehicle brought home to Maryland and furthermore it appears that among many other things the ridiculously low insurance standard in Pennsylvania means he doesn't even have enough insurance to cover the damages to my vehicle.

I see it happening already. I will be the victim multiple times as this scenario plays out. My insurance company is taking over to make me whole--but I am already getting a lot of "no's" from them about what they will not do, like have my vehicle returned home for repairs. I do not live in Dunmore, PA. Why on earth would I want to have repairs done there? And, why should I be expected to go back to Dunmore, on my own nickel, to retrieve my vehicle when the repairs are done?

Then there is the matter of whether the damages to my vehicle exceed the value and that terrible concept of totaling out the vehicle. I hate that. I cannot replace the vehicle for what I expect to receive in payment. That story is still playing out--but I have been down this road before and been low balled by the insurance company.

There has to be a better way. I faithfully, and as required by law, pay my insurance premiums only to be treated like this? Lose my vehicle, not receive enough compensation to replace it, and spend enormous amounts of time negotiating with the insurance companies to be made "whole."  I already know that will not happen.

And the at fault driver drove off.

Being a victim never ends it seems.

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

Weddings, Funerals and Other Times, Too!

Nuclear Family

I have proof that families actually can get together for functions other than weddings and funerals. Last weekend, my sisters and brother collected ourselves from across the country and descended upon my parents house to celebrate Mom's birthday.

Even cooler, it was not one of those "significant" birthdays (those ending in 0's or 5's). It was a birthday and we decided to make Mom's wish come true for all four of us to be gathered in one place, with her at her house, on her birthday.

Yeah, OK, I needed a little prodding from my wife--but it worked out fabulously. And it was good to see my siblings in a non-threatening setting for a couple of days. We have become a bit distant, in more than just the geographic sense. Getting together for a fun and not somber occasion--with just us, was awesome.

The Fun Slightly Extended Family

And it made a birthday wish come true for a woman of faith and strength.

What could be better than that?

Nothing.

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

Monday Musings - June 10, 2013

1. Visiting Mom to celebrate her birthday was a great thing to do.

2. The officer along the side of I-81 in Dunmore, PA on Friday told me that he sees accidents all of the time and as long as the people are OK, the reason we have insurance is to take care of repairing the cars to not get to worried about the damage to the vehicle.

3. Quote from my sister Pennie:"Why do I feel like I'm 10 years old when I go home?"

4. Another quote form my sister Pennie on attending Church yesterday: "When we walked into the church we attended as kids, I felt 16, then after a few introductions, I felt like I was 10, and before long, I felt like I was 5 years old sitting in the pew kicking my legs."

5. I had a weird feeling as we drove by the scene of our Friday accident on our return trip to Baltimore yesterday. Just seeing the spot and knowing what transpired there.

6. After a brief respite for a few beautiful hours yesterday, the rain has returned.

7. It is good to be home after a trip, no matter how short.

8. Did you read that the TSA in Denver stopped Chewbacca? I've had trouble getting through Denver security and now I know why.

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

Whose Vehicle is That?

It is weird getting up in the morning and looking out the window of the house seeing a foreign vehicle in the driveway, this one with Kentucky plates on it, and realize it is the one that I am expected to drive. It is the aftermath of the accident which has resulted in the Lexus being stored at a salvage yard until the adjusters show up to determine its fate.

With the Lexus gone, there is a temporary replacement in my "stable." I don't particularly like it, but it is functional and temporary.

Chris and I are in that I between mode. Will the Lexus be total loss? Will we receive a worthy settlement? What type of vehicle can ever possibly replace such a versatile and well built vehicle? So many questions.

I've been looking at the brightly colored Jeeps on the road, but even the venerable and solidly built Jeeps are not a worthy Lexus SUV replacement. Still, there may be a two-for-one trade in the future. Time will tell.

Until then, there is a strange vehicle in my driveway, and it is the one I'm driving.


-- Bob Doan, writing from Ithaca, NY

Heroes in Unexpected Places

What a day Friday was. That is a bit of an understatement because after picking one of my sisters up from the airport in Baltimore, we headed off to upstate NY to celebrate Mom's birthday.



The day was rainy as Tropical Storm Andrea made her presence known. The roads were wet and traffic was moving, but most drivers were wary of the ever changing road conditions.

About three and a half hours into the trip, Chris was driving on a wet road north of Scranton, PA on interstate 81 in the town of Dunmore, everything changed and a near catastrophe became an example of heroes among us in many places.

A red Grand Cherokee probably lost traction and hydroplaned into the passenger rear door of our Lexus which made, after two separate impacts, both vehicles swing around 180 degrees in the road and across two lanes of traffic to come to rest along the barrier on the other side of the road. The third impact was with the barrier and wrecked the front of the Lexus.



After determining that everyone was generally unharmed, except for some glass cut due to the window in the damaged passenger door disintegrating and sore shoulders due to seat belts, our trip was in momentary chaos. Then the heroes arrived on the scene in the form of the Pennsylvania state police, the Dunmore fire department, and De Naples auto parts and tow truck. As we were overcoming the shock of the accident, these professionals took care of our needs and even transported us to the fire station and the car rental agency to help us clean up and recover and allow our trip to continue.

The accident could have been horrible, with two vehicles doing a 180 degree slide and crossing two lanes of a rush hour busy interstate, but it wasn't. I was the first to the damage to the Lexus, which is severe. Chris and my sisters, Pennie and Kay, were trapped in the car until the fire department arrived and assessed the scene. The driver side of the vehicle came to rest with the back tire on the retaining wall, but sustaining no damage. After checking it the vehicle they asked Chris if she could start the car and pull it forward, which amazingly enough she was able to do. At that point as they got out and the ambulance arrived, they could see the extensive damage compared to the minor ding on the Jeep. But, I have to write, even though the passenger door is clearly crushed, except for the broken glass the damage is not obvious from the interior. Great design!



The care and comfort we received from the heroes of Dunmore was awesome. They were instrumental in making a serious accident less traumatic. They were thoughtful and caring to the point of helping us empty our loved Lexus of all of our personal belongings back at the Hose Company in case the last time we see our SUV is when it was driving away on the back of the tow vehicle.

Although the damage doesn't seem so catastrophic, we have been assured that the vehicle will likely be totaled. Sadly.

Our families were awesome in the adversity as well. Everyone offered to come help--some from even 14 hours driving time away. The concern from all of them was genuine and appreciated.

And so, after a two hour delay in our day, we were on the road again in a rental provided by my insurance company, but with fond memories of Dunmore, PA, and the professionals that represent the town.

Thanks guys!

-- Bob Doan, writing from Ithaca, NY