Leader of the Pack

I read an interesting Op-Ed piece in the New York Times yesterday about how people are taking the advice from the Dog Whisperer, Cesar Millan, and using it to improve their home life with their children. I extracted a portion below for your enjoyment:

Becoming the Alpha Dog in Your Own Home

“When we started watching his shows, we had intended to apply his advice toward our dogs,” said Amy Twomey, a blogger on parenthood for The Dallas Morning News who is raising three children under 10 with her husband, Matt. “But we realized a lot of ideas can be used on our kids.”

Indeed, Mr. Millan’s advice has replaced a shelf full of books on how to tame an unruly child. “It’s all the same simple concept: how to be the pack leader in your own house,” she said.

Certainly, an army, or at least a few divisions, of credentialed experts on human parenthood long ago stumbled on Mr. Millan’s philosophical holy trinity — exercise, discipline and affection equals happiness. And Mr. Millan does not hold himself up as a new Dr. Spock; he has never opined on how one should raise a creature with two legs in his show on the National Geographic Channel, or in his four books.

So, kids and dogs are similar?

Until a year ago, when I received Makayla as Christmas gift and have had the pleasure of growing up with a puppy again, I would have disagreed. But--now I believe they are indeed similar. Not that kids are dogs, but that I (as dad, grandad, or dog owner) need to be ready to take charge and be the leader.

I believe that children, like dogs, are looking for someone to be in charge and to look out for their best interest. Unlike children, dogs are equipped to fill this role by nature; but children need adults to watch over them until they are--well probably into their 20's or so.

So reread the piece above and note the discussion of Millan's trinity: exercise, discipline, and affection.

Dogs require it--to be happy and allow their owners to be happy.

Children require these three things, too--and from talking to Chris about many of the children in her school--kids today are not getting enough of any of the three.

Note something here--all three require the active participation of the parent (or dog owner). These times become relationship builders. Be they exercise, or discipline (think of it as boundary setting and enforcing), and affection. Parents can't just show up occasionally--toss some gifts at the kids and think they are showing affection.

There is a time cost to having a dog.
There is a larger time cost (read: investment) in raising children.

I know that Chris and I are extremely conscious of being out in the evening and not spending time with Makayla after she has been in her kennel all day--we experience the consequences of lack of affection, exercise, and discipline. A poor night sleep because we have a restless dog.

And parents--who consistently fail to provide these three things for their children wonder why they have problems with their kids

Maybe Cesar has something here. Kids are definitely not dogs, but from the adult/parent standpoint; the personal interaction that is required to have a good dog is even more required to have great kids.

AND, by the way--Chris and I are blessed to have three great kids, 2 and 3/4 grandkids, and three great spouses (or almost spouses) for our three great kids. Blame it all on Chris, she actually spent the TIME to do the exercise, discipline, and affection.

All without a dog trainer to tell her what to do.

What Time is it?

I heard an interesting sermon in church on Sunday--it was about the most asked question in American society today: "What Time is it?"

It seems that we are all asking this one question more than any other question. We all want to know what time it is. And it got me thinking.

I do wonder about the time a lot. Whether it is because I need to attend a meeting at work, or go somewhere, or am wondering how much longer until I can go home.

But it seems I am always wondering about the time because there is something I need to do that needs to be synchronized with someone else. And we are all precise!
- Do NOT be late to a meeting!
- Do NOT miss an appointment at the doctor's office or they will charge you.
- Don't forget to have dinner ready!

I remember when I was a kid--I measured time differently. How many months, then days, then hours until Christmas! Or how many months, then days, and then hours until summer vacation. There were bells in the school to tell me when to change classes--so I didn't need to worry about the time, just the next bell.

My understanding of time was larger and the accuracy was less precise.

The pace of life was different--I didn't need to ask so many times per day what time it was, because all I needed to know was that it was daylight or dark and that pretty well defined the level of accuracy I needed.

I long for those days.

Kind of like vacation--I get up when I wake up, not when the alarm goes off (unless of course I need to meet the dive boat at 6:30am).

When I'm on vacation, I leave to do something--when I'm ready and not because I have to be at work on time.

On vacation, the structure of my life changes--for the better. I get more rest. I am happier.

And you know what--when I ask "what time it is" it is because I don't want what I'm doing to end, rather than needing to get prepared to race to another appointment.

And so, I've thought about the question a bit, and do you know "What time it is?"

Time for change!

Monday Musings - November 23, 2009

1. The weather in this part of the country is becoming downright awful. Rain, gloom and talk of snow. It is hard to get everything ready for the winter. On the other hand, it is one of the most mild November's I can remember. We have had only one freeze. I'm confused as to which is worse, mild and wet or cold and bright.

2. Football weekend for the family was a loser--with three of the four teams coming up short in the final score--the only team that won didn't play well enough to win. Adding the scores together--all three teams lost by a combined six points. With the winner winning by one measly point. That, as they say it is why they play the game.

3. One riding lawn mower and two grandsons equals priceless memories.

4. Being up on the roof putting up Christmas decorations is not for everyone. The scary part is helping those down the ladder who came up so easily. Some people go up a lot better than they go down.

5. Why do we name things--like the talking GPS in the car and the Thanksgiving turkey?

6. A couple friends at work have elected to retire this year--one this week. Wow--that is one of those transitions I have always thought was coming sometime in the future but never really considered in the present. I guess, it is creeping up on me, too. I'll think about planning for it next year! I still have time.

7. Hey--the most wonderful holiday of the year is upon us--Thanksgiving. And we have so much to be thankful for--like for everything. Stop and take a moment to reflect on the blessings in your life.

8. New windows--check. New lights--check. New paint--check. OK, the projects for 2009 are getting completed, time to start planning the projects for 2010.

9. Have you heard anyone call next year "oh-ten?" Technically, its not wrong 'cause next year is 2010. But we know what they meant, right?

10. If you are traveling this week or next (as I am)--may your travel be pleasant and safe. And may you arrive at your destination and return to your home without incident.

New Moon - Twilight Movie Review

Opening day--there I was standing in line to see this movie because I'm married to a Twilight series lover.

I looked around the theater as we sat down--as a male, I was in a definite minority. There was a definite lack of testosterone in the theater. I was in a den of women (some are calling the older ones cougars) to see a movie about vampires. I wondered if I was safe.

Let's talk about the movie.

It is a love story of epic proportions. And a love triangle. There are some action scenes, but it is mostly dialogue. There are personal interactions. This movie has almost no character development--that was all assumed form the first movie or the books. So, if you do not know the back story--you must read the books or see the first movie to enjoy this stiry. There are many references which assume full understanding of what has happened before.

So--first timers (probably guys) are going to hate this movie because they do not understand it.

Series followers are going to love it because it is generally faithful to the books.


New Moon is the second installment in the Twilight series and I found the movie plodding, punctuated by moments of action. It is a depressing story where no one seems to be happy and there is little joy. The action is short and always goes back to more depressing dialogue. As you might expect from a movie about vampires--it is a dark movie. The skies are always overcast, or it is raining. The dialogue is cumbersome and ofter gets in the way of the story.

Recommendation: Unless you are a Twilight series addict, you will probably not like the movie. The only reason to see the movie is to understand what all the fuss is about. No sex, no foul language, but there are some violent scenes.

Saturday before the Holidays

OK--shoppers start your engines.

Get started--it is the last Saturday before the frenzy of the holiday season grabs us and drags us along until well into January.

From here on--the pace of life is doubled until that frantic week of Christmas and New Years is upon us.

Parties, shopping, eating, and did I say parties? Drinking wine? Oh, yes.

What do I like most about the holidays? Watching Santa arrive in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. Despite all of the Christmas Season preparations which are already out in the stores, for me--Santa's arrival in the parade marks that one spot where I begin the month-long transition into the Holiday Spirit(s).

What is the point where it all begins for you? Let me know by commenting.

At least during the season it is easy to decide what to do with any available spare time! Shop, party, eat or decorate! (SPED)

Hmmmm--!

I think the acronym says it all--SPED and that is what we do through the Holidays because I know that in January we will look back and remark how the Holiday season just SPED by. Of course we will be driving at that point to the club to lose a few of those pounds that crawled on our bodies during the season of over-eating!

Hey--take a few minutes and draw a deep breath--someone said it's the most wonderful time of the year. AND, it is!

Window--Electric Success

Well to follow up on the other day--the window installation was a success as was the electrical work of installing the new lights.

It all went smoothly--at one point during the day I had four specialists all working in the same room ant the same time and keeping everything deconflicted.

So--the windows that were not doing their jobs have been replaced with really nice triple-pane windows and should begin really insulating the house and keeping the warm or cool (as desired) in; and the kitchen really looks nice without the huge florescent unit hanging in the middle of it.

I am still amazed that I was able to schedule two different specialities to arrive on the same day and stay out of each other's way! Yay.

And the workmanship was great. So we are enjoying newly lit spaces and are looking forward to quieter and more comfortable spaces.

Getting New Windows

How tough can it be?

We ordered them and had a day scheduled--but it rained. Then we had to reschedule. But of course even with the rain pummeling the earth and the forecast for it not to let up, they didn't call until after their scheduled arrival time.

They were supposed to call me to reschedule. But they didn't.

I had to track them down.

But, they are coming on my schedule--today--or so they say.

And in addition we have an electrician coming to install a bunch of recessed lights and remove the late 80's looking florescent light unit from the kitchen.

Do you know what that means? Two things:

1. I'll be doing drywall work again to patch the holes

2. Chris will find another project that needs to be "done before the holidays!"

Well, with the holidays upon us it is time to begin transforming the house into a Christmas castle of light or something like that. Maybe I'll put up the Christmas lights while the electrician is doing his thing.

Sleigh bells ring--can you stand it?

Being Sick is a Downer: Follow-up

Feeling much better when I awoke and not running a fever--I did actually go into work as I had planned.

Being Sick is a Real Downer

I left work early yesterday because I was feeling rotten.

I slept for over two hours when after I got home. It was nice to crawl my weary body into the cave and bed down accompanied by my faithful companion - Makayla.

I've been sniffling and sneezing all afternoon. Running a low grade fever and coughing.

Uck!

I got laryngitis over the weekend and almost couldn't sing at the memorial service for a friend. I knew something was going on--but the first cold of the season is a hard reminder of the stuff still to come. I wish it had passed me by--I have so much to do at work.

We have electricians coming on Wednesday and I hope to get the windows installed as well.

I have racquetball tonight--I hate to cancel because it is so hard to reschedule.

Life just doesn't take a time out for being sick! There is, however, a whole Facebook group devoted to "I Hate Being Sick."

I'm just too busy to be sick and out of work--but I have to think of my coworkers--they do not need to get the crud--so I need to be responsible and not act like the invincible man or something equally as arcane.

So am I going in, or not?

Stay tuned!

Monday Musings - November 16, 2009

1. After a week of gloom, the return of the sun cheers the soul and mood.

2. Having a head cold really is a downer--it hurts to even think about doing anything.

3. Yesterday, the dogs were quiet in the morning and we slept in till about 8am. That never happens. Wow!

4. Whenever a doorbell rings on TV, Makayla barks and runs for the door. It makes me laugh.

5. Memorial services celebrating the uncommon life of a special person can be very uplifting. And when a lot of friends get together to celebrate and sing--it is even better.

6. Makayla looks great when I take the time to brush and comb her--but really, it takes a lot of work because she has a lot of coat. I should brush her weekly--but I don't.

7. 70 degrees, sunny sky, November 15th--what could be better?

8. We are getting some new lights in the kitchen and family room--should really upgrade the look. Seems we are doing a lot of home upgrade projects right now--ew windows, lights, and painting room and redecorating. I guess it is one way to combat the darkness of winter--work in the interior while it is not worth the effort to work outside.

9. Glory days. Remembering old times, friends and events from a time long, long ago are the memories that lives are made of. It is good to remember the past--but we live in the present and need to bring the memories forward to the now.