Connections Part 2 -- Getting and Staying Connected to people

I struck a chord with myself on this idea--and so I wanted to flesh it out a bit more.

How do we become connected? How do we stay connected? What are the advantages of being connected to each other?


I've thought about this a bit and it seems we become connected initially with our families. As we mature these connections change and sometimes it takes work to keep them strong. I am really bad at maintaining connections. It is an out growth of my innate hatred of telephones. But I am a huge email fan--and that is a way to stay connected.


I am reminded of John and Abagail Adams (the 2nd President!). During his worldwide travels and even his travels to and from the seats of government, John and Abagail remained connected through letters and these letters provide an incredible insight into their lives. They worked hard to stay connected.



Families need to work in the same manner to remain connected with each other. Our family has a series of events this past summer that reminded us that we really do care about each other and that we need to overcome the inertia of daily living and keep in closer contact. We have been trying, with limited success to do just that.

In addition to families, we become connected to others through work, and outside activities/groups such as scouting and church.

As long as the groups are functioning the connectedness seems to work. But as these collections of people begin to dysfunction--possibly at the core, there is a loss of connectedness. Members begin to feel disenfranchised and set apart for the group. They lose the connectivity which to them translates into a sense of aloneness. And then they are lost to the group. That is the sad part. It happens so slowly over time that no one is aware of it until it has happened.

The object is to get connected and to stay connected. It requires effort--connectedness does not happen by magic. Communication is a two part process: sender and receiver. Connectedness is similarly a multipart process where multiple people become and remain connected. The vectors of communication are personal face-to-face contact, email, mail, telephone, newsletters, meetings and a host of others. Good connectedness is based upon personal contact--not mass mailings. It is an effort. But a good effort. Communities are built on this type of effort--the effort to remain connected.

Get connected and stay connected. We are all working our way through life together--and we needs each other despite what we might like to believe.

Connections--how we stay part of the world

I've been struggling with the idea of connections--how we are each connected to others. Despite what I would like to believe about myself, I value connections to others. I would like to think that I am an island in the middle of the sea of people around me, but I'm not and island at all.

The idea that connections to other people were important to me crept up on me in a very unexpected way through the transfer of ownership of a Yahoo group. It really hit me hard when I realized that I was severing a connection with a group of people that I care about. I did not expect the turmoil that the severing of this connection would cause--even though, by my own choice, I am no longer a member of the ring of people who are represented in that Yahoo group. I felt the loss of the connection to these people deep in my heart.

Perhaps I just need to move on and keep walking down my own path--but I'd like to think that I'm not like that. Everyone I meet and especially those I learn to know and love leave an imprint on me. Like my profile says: "Just a guy. If I knew where I was going, I'd be there by now" A lot of us are traveling a similar path. And as we journey, we meet a lot of other guys and gals who are living their lives and it is through our connections with them that we grow stronger as people and as a larger community.

When we begin to care about others, we sacrifice of ourselves--our time, talent, and even money for the greater good and for mutual support with and for others. And not even because we hope that they will be there for us someday. We support other people because we can, and because as we are connected to others we care for them and help them when we can, rejoice with them when we can, and cry with them when they need us to.

When relationships go bad and we lose connections to someone there is a void. It would be nice if that never happened--relationships going bad, but we are people and these things happen more than they should. And the void that is left after the relationship has ended has a lot of pain associated with it. It demands to be filled--with other people, groups, or hobbies so we can grow beyond the lost relationships and continue our journey. But we never forget.

Does time heal all wounds? No. It masks them but unless the wounds of the heart and soul are addressed--they don't heal. They fester and affect us in negative ways. The wounds can foster hate, despair, insecurity, anger.

So, this week I surrendered one measure of connectedness to friends. I will work to discover and create new pathways to be connected with the people in that group who want to remain connected. We all need each other--too often we just don't think we do.

Jeremy's Move

Well--the past two days have been rough in terms of physical labor, but Jeremy and Nicole are moved! The old townhouse is clean and they are living in the next building over in a larger and nicer place.

This whole experience reminded me--it doesn't matter whether you're moving next door or around the world--moving is tough and a lot of hard work.

Yesterday we spend a lot of time setting up a new, larger, better salt water tank--it is beautiful but oh man is it heavy. Even empty. Ugh.

But congrats are in order to Jeremy and Nicole on their new home--it is beautiful and I do have fun with the alternate name for the "storage" room. Yeah.

I think the last time I came home after 11PM was New Year's Eve. And last night was definitely no party. But we all worked hard and the job is done!

Contact Jeremy and Nicole for their new address--you will just have to change the building and apartment number.

A Christian in the Political Environment

Chris and I attended a small group session sponsored by our church last night where the topic of discussion focused upon Christians and politics. This entry is my personal (not the group nor the church's) view and take on what we discussed.

As you might suspect, the basis for the discussion centered upon Romans 13:1-7, where Paul reminds that God institutes governments and that we are to respect the governments God institutes by being in subjection and paying taxes.

But as Christians, what are we supposed to do? Be activists in politics or withdraw and be the best Christ followers that we can be? The Amish come to mind as an example of those who have chosen to withdraw.

If governments and leaders are instituted by God, then why bother to vote? God's got it in control! No matter whether Obama or McCain are elected, it is God's plan. (And that is more reassuring than you might think)

But wait! The expectation in the United States is that this country is "Of the People and For the People." We the People are the government. As Christians living to be subject to the government we have to accept this call and be involved--because if you read Romans again it is telling us not to resist authority and then by extension--we are resisting authority by not being involved in the government.

How can Christians be involved? The are many ways to be involved and they do not all require fanatical policital activism.

At the most basic level--be an informed voter and vote. On election day fall on your knees and ask God to guide your vote. This is the means through which God implements our Government--through us: We the People.

Live every day as a Christ follower. In that way you will affect others and potentially their votes and involvement in the government. Be a Christ follower first and foremost.

Then there is the extreme level--be actively involved in government and elections. Not everyone is called to do this, but some are. Be careful not to appear to be imposing your personal will on the system--because non-Christians are really good at identifying what Christians are against--but have a poorer grasp on what we are for. Personally, I'm a huge fan of eternal life.

We, Christians, need to do a better job helping non-Christians understand what we are for and what we believe and I will tell you it is certainly not a laundry list of "Thou shalt nots."

Be compassionate, respect others and understand that even as Christians we have different takes and views and that we are not carbon copies of each other. How boring would that be?

Being a Christian in the political environment is an important task that God gives each of us to, but we bring different talents and gifts. The only absolute about the task is that each of us as resident of the United States, are absolutely expected to be involved and as a minimum vote.

Playing not to Lose--implementing the Prevent Defense too soon

The debates last night treated the American public and the rest of world to more of the same: Two candidates who are trying not to lose the election in November and one of them is definitely going to lose.

In pro-football, near the end of the game, the team with the most points on the board sometimes goes into what is known as the "Prevent" Defense. The Prevent Defense is designed to bend but not allow a potentially winning score from the other team. The idea of giving up a lot of ground in the middle of the football field to ensure that a winning score does not occur often results in total failure. I'm sure it works in theory--but in practice knowledgeable fans know that the prevent defense is a recipe for disaster.

In the case of the debate--I'm not sure either candidate has a verifiable lead. Although, if you listen to NBC news, Obama will be our next president based upon projections showing that he has to win only one of the six states still up for grabs in the Electoral College voting.

Back to the debate--so what was new or different from the previous debate? Nothing. I was frustrated at one point when a question about Afghanistan addressed to Obama turned into a diatribe about how it shouldn't have been a problem if the situation had been handled differently.

Great--but it is a problem and how are you going to deal with it? That is the key part.

I don't want a President who is going to waste valuable decision making time reviewing why a problem shouldn't be a problem--deal with it! What are you going to do. And in the end, what he said was nothing. I felt bad for the person who asked the question as she never got an answer from the man who would be President.

Both candidates are trying to win by looking backwards. I want a President who is looking into the future. They spend too much time on voting records and all the has been stuff.

We're in a bad place, I get it. The economy is in trouble. I get it. Our foreign policy is in a shambles except for our real allies, I get it. Answer me this. What are you going to do about these things from this moment on? Focus in that. Yeah, it's important to understand how we got here, but turn around and look into the future.

I miss Ronald Reagan. He had a vision. He made me, a citizen of this great country, part of the means to achieve the vision.

I loved the question from the Internet, the last question of the night, "What don't you know and how will you figure out what it is" or something like that. Obama couldn't admit that he didn't know everything or had a plan for what he didn't know. It was way too much "I". McCain was clear about what he didn't know, and plausible, but again way too much emphasis on "I" and not the "We" as in "We the people . . . "

I wish one of these evenly matched men would decide not to worry about "not losing" and decide to win the election--for us, for the United States, for my children and their children, and for the world.

Take a risk--make us part of the vision of the future! And then let's not look back but always look forward.

2006 Four Vines "Heretic" Paso Robles Petite Sirah

Wow--we tried this wine at a local wine store wine tasting, bought a couple bottles and discovered that it is fabulous from the bottle during an evening with friends and food.

The wine has a superior nose and is extremely smooth on the palette with berry flavors and some black pepper. There is a complexity to the wine which makes it very enjoyable. Not over powering, but pleasingly complex with berries and some black pepper which gives the wine some zing. And then it lingers for a while so that the full flavor comes out.

This is no ordinary wine. I believe it would be excellent with a meaty, spicy meal like ribs--and it would hold its own.

As good as the wine is straight from the bottle--it gets even better when decanted.

Recommendation: A bit pricey at about $35 per bottle--but so pleasing to taste and enjoy. A great bottle of wine for that special celebration.