I've been struggling with the idea of connections--how we are each connected to others. Despite what I would like to believe about myself, I value connections to others. I would like to think that I am an island in the middle of the sea of people around me, but I'm not and island at all.
The idea that connections to other people were important to me crept up on me in a very unexpected way through the transfer of ownership of a Yahoo group. It really hit me hard when I realized that I was severing a connection with a group of people that I care about. I did not expect the turmoil that the severing of this connection would cause--even though, by my own choice, I am no longer a member of the ring of people who are represented in that Yahoo group. I felt the loss of the connection to these people deep in my heart.
Perhaps I just need to move on and keep walking down my own path--but I'd like to think that I'm not like that. Everyone I meet and especially those I learn to know and love leave an imprint on me. Like my profile says: "Just a guy. If I knew where I was going, I'd be there by now" A lot of us are traveling a similar path. And as we journey, we meet a lot of other guys and gals who are living their lives and it is through our connections with them that we grow stronger as people and as a larger community.
When we begin to care about others, we sacrifice of ourselves--our time, talent, and even money for the greater good and for mutual support with and for others. And not even because we hope that they will be there for us someday. We support other people because we can, and because as we are connected to others we care for them and help them when we can, rejoice with them when we can, and cry with them when they need us to.
When relationships go bad and we lose connections to someone there is a void. It would be nice if that never happened--relationships going bad, but we are people and these things happen more than they should. And the void that is left after the relationship has ended has a lot of pain associated with it. It demands to be filled--with other people, groups, or hobbies so we can grow beyond the lost relationships and continue our journey. But we never forget.
Does time heal all wounds? No. It masks them but unless the wounds of the heart and soul are addressed--they don't heal. They fester and affect us in negative ways. The wounds can foster hate, despair, insecurity, anger.
So, this week I surrendered one measure of connectedness to friends. I will work to discover and create new pathways to be connected with the people in that group who want to remain connected. We all need each other--too often we just don't think we do.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
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