Take Charge and Take Control

I have been in a class this week learning about achieving effective results as a leader. I have been exposed to valuable concepts, but one thing I ran across--which is not part of the curriculum, is that some people have a victim mentality.

What is a victim mentality? It is perpetuating the belief that we cannot change our circumstances and that we have no control over what happens to us.

I do not subscribe to that idea. 

I do not want to live like a victim--sometimes bad things happen and we truly have no control over the event, but we can control how we react.

We do not need to react like a victim.

While we are not in control, we do not have to be victims--there are circumstances that we can control, and we should exercise controls appropriately.

One of the things we can control are the stories we use to understand the situations in our life. A classic victim story is the one that goes: "I work hard to give you all of the things you want and I have no time for myself." It is a rationalism--it is a victim story. The rationalism suggests that the person is not in control of their life and that everything that happens, occurs despite their efforts.

One of the hardest things we can do is take control of life because it means we can't blame our decisions on others. It goes back to the classic question: "Does a red light make you stop?" Of course not, it is a suggestion--a pretty good one, but we have to decide to follow the advice.

Stop being a victim and take control in the areas of life where it is possible.

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

Frost on the Pumpkins

Frost on the Pumpkin

The nights have been getting colder and the days are cooler than they have been. 

With each successive day, we wonder if we should finally turn on the heat and succumb to the fact that summer is gone and the autumn has progressed to a point where coats are becoming the norm for mornings and afternoons.

I knew this time would arrive.  Even if it is too soon.

The Halloween decorations are adorning the stores and my neighborhood homes--we even have decorated our house with the trappings of the season.

Sadly, as I discovered on Sunday morning, the frost is on the pumpkin and Jack-o-lanterns are adorning houses. The harvest season is underway.

Soon, too soon, the heat will have to be on to warm the house.

And then November will arrive.

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

New Cell Phone Law

Man on cell with banana

Maryland's new tougher cell phone laws went into effect on October 1st. 

To summarize the new laws, basically, breathing on a cell phone while driving is grounds to get pulled over and receive a ticket.

I have some issues with this law--sure, you shouldn't talk or text, but my cell also serves as a GPS and provides turn-by-turn directions. Sometimes I need to look at it to figure out what it is trying to tell me.

It also plays music. 

Adjusting information in these modes would be no different than using the radio or permanently installed GPS. This law seems to be unenforceable and overly restrictive.

As evidence for my assertion, on Saturday, while Chris was driving, I noted the man in the image driving next to us. He was talking on his cell and eating a banana while driving. He was impeding traffic. I couldn't believe it. I wasn't sure which was more important? Talking on the phone or eating the banana, because it surely was not his driving.

Even more frustrating? No police to show him the error of his ways.

We don't need more laws, we need people to exercise common sense.

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

Monday Musings - October 6, 2014

Waiting out a Frost Delay

1. Autumn arrived with a vengeance over the weekend. The first frost of the season arrived in many places, including the golf course I waited for two hours to play on yesterday morning. I had never heard of a frost delay before. 

2. I have a bad case of ORANGE FEVER this morning! The Orioles are one of the last four teams remaining in baseball--and the baseball pundits can't figure out why or how!

Cy Young Winners: 1-2-3

3. We held a family October gathering yesterday, not to watch football, but to cheer on the Orioles. It was rumored that at one point someone received a text message telling us to calm down because we were louder than all of the fans in Tiger stadium watching the game.

4. I have to confess, I really didn't care about the scores of the NFL football games being played yesterday. 

5. Baltimore is waking up this morning realizing that it is, and always has been, a baseball town. The only reason that football seemed to be king was that the baseball team abdicated its position for over a decade. They're back!

6. On this day in 1866, the Reno gang carries out the first robbery of a moving train in the U.S., making off with over $10,000 from an Ohio & Mississippi train in Jackson County, Indiana. Prior to this innovation in crime, holdups had taken place only on trains sitting at stations or freight yards. 

7. The frosty morning waiting out a frost delay did provide a pretty picture.

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

Autumn has Arrived

Falling Leaves

Thankfully, the pool was closed last weekend before the leaves decided to fall off the trees in earnest. I looked out yesterday morning and it was snowing leaves from the trees. I could only imagine the mess and stress of trying to close the pool amidst all of the leaves.

Although the day dawned warm, by evening the temperature had dipped to 52 degrees and was headed into the overnight 40's for the coldest night of the season so far. It was actually 37 degrees when I woke up this morning! I had to close the windows and even considered turning on the heat--but, not yet.

Brrrr.

The leaves fell for most of the day even though they had not yet changed their colors. 

Jax's football game, which started almost two hours late at about 5:30 was downright cold and autumnal. The chilling breeze was most uncomfortable. OK, I was cold even though i though I had dressed warmly. 

Not so, it seems. Autumn took a firm grip on the weather after two weeks of letting summer extend itself.

Pool season is definitely over!

Autumn is in control.

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

It's Hard Work being an Orioles Fan

Chris and I at the Orioles-Tigers Playoff Game
October 3, 2014

Orioles Baseball fans are, I believe, the hardest working fans in all of baseball. And our team knows that we are there.

I attended the greatest baseball game of my life yesterday. I have been to a lot of baseball games--I have seen the good, the bad, and the down right ugly. Yesterday, it took a combined team and fan effort overcome a daunting 3 run deficit in the 8th inning to secure victory is spectacular fashion and demonstrate to a national television audience that Baltimore's baseball team and its fans are ready for prime time!

Orioles Fan at the game

The game lasted 3 hours and 41 minutes. The cheering began well before the game amped up when the stadium announcer encouraged everyone to cheer when the national TV coverage clicked in. Joining me in the stands were over 48,000 of my new best friends--mostly wearing orange and black! It was an undulating sea of orange. It was awesome!

Why is being an Orioles fan hard work? Well, thanks to the MLB television scheduling fiasco, we didn't know the time of the game until Wednesday night--and then it was a Noon start! 

There is a lot of preparation that goes into Orioles playoff baseball game from a fan perspective. The orange jerseys and shirts must be clean and ready. Plans for work must be changed to accommodate the daytime game. Coordination with other fans attending the game must be finished. And then there is navigating the highways to get to the stadium. Baltimore constantly finds new ways to frustrate drivers in their quest to arrive anywhere on time with never-ending construction and irrational lane closures. 

All of that is just the preparation. 

OPACY, October 3, 2014
Sea of Undulating Orange

Once in Orioles Park at Camden Yards, or OPACY, the real work begins. The stadium is an awesome place in which to attend a game. The concessionaires were running at full speed to minimize wait times--but face it, 48,000 fans are no small number of people to keep happy.

The real fan work begins as the game prepares to start. An Orioles fan needs to know the multitude of cheers and be ready for the signature "O" cheer during the national anthem. The echoes returning from the surrounding buildings yesterday were fantastic and the stadium literally shook as the Orioles faithful amped up the energy level in preparation for the game. 

Any Orioles fan who is not hoarse the next day, or who does not have tennis elbow from waving their towel--didn't leave it all on the field!

The game was a seesaw affair. The Orioles took a 2-0 lead in the 3rd inning, only to surrender 5 runs in the top of the 4th inning and then get one back in the bottom of the inning. Even though the score was 5-3 until the 8th inning, the enthusiasm in the stands never waned. Having watched this team all season, the fans knew that their moment to secure a victory would soon come--and it did. It was essentially all over for the Tigers when they added an insurance run in the top of the 8th inning, increasing their lead to 6-3. 

Zach Britton, the Closer
Securing the Win!

Down to the last six outs--it was time to play serious post-season baseball. The fans responded and the noise level in the stadium began to exceed that of a jet engine at maximum rated thrust preparing for take off. The cheer "We Won't Stop" echoed off the surrounding buildings as 48,000 plus people were united with their team and the comeback began. Four runs and two Tigers pitchers later--the victory was all but secured. OPACY was rocking! Eleven pitches and three Tiger's batters later--victory was achieved as our closer extinguished any hopes that the Tigers had of spoiling the beautiful October afternoon. 

By the time the win was secured--the fans were exhausted. Like the team, we had left it all on the field. I may not be able to speak for two days because I gave my voice to the throng. 

Orioles fans are called "the best fans in baseball," and I know we are also the hardest working fans in baseball.

Go O's!

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

O-mazing

Game 1, Tigers at Orioles
October 2, 2014

It was only game one of the American League Division Series (ALDS) against the vaunted Detroit Tiger pitching staff led by three successive Cy Young Award winners--and O what a game it was!

The game was close--mostly within a run until the middle of the pivotal 8th inning when the Orioles sent 12 men to the plate and scored 8 runs to break the game wide open and cruise home to a lop-sided 12-3 victory.

The Orioles were definitely aided by the 10th man--the fans! Camden Yards was rocking all night. Even though I was not there in person, I was getting live reports from the stands on how much the stadium was rocking as the crowd did its job supporting the players on the field. 

I will be there today, doing my part to support the Orioles. 

Game 2 starts at high noon in Camden Yards, today. I need to remember that last night was only game one of a five game series and than anything can happen--but, I can dream! Today's game starts 0-0 with two talented and proud clubs on the field.

It is October baseball and anything can happen. Live the dream.

Wear Orange and believe!

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD 

To the Moon and Back

I heard a story on the Today show the other morning that caused me to stop and reflect. 

The story was titled 

Boy, 6, asks people to 'shine lights to moon' to honor fallen vet dad

The story brought tears to my eyes, thinking about six year old Darren Baysore who would never see his war hero Dad again. But, the Darren and his Dad had special connection through the moon which the he has used to keep his memory alive.

Randomly the other day, Lucas, my youngest grandson, started singing the song about the moon that I wrote for Patrick when he was young. I had forgotten about the song, but the words are as follows and I think it is appropriate:

Mister Moon

Mister Moon

Up in the sky

Looking at me

I'm looking at you

Mister Moon

Up in the sky

Following me

I'm following you

Mister Moon

Sing me a song

Don't make it long

Or I'll forget it

Mister Moon

Up in the sky

Smiling at me

I'm smiling at you

There is a second verse--but you get the idea. The tune of the song is cute and I will video Lucas next time he sings it and add it to the blog.

I hope six-year old Darren Baysore still hears his Dad talking to him from the to the moon and back. And, turn your porch light on!

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

October Arrives

October crept in overnight. For all of the Federal Workers that you know--wish them happy new year and happy continuing resolution.

The month of harvests, pumpkins, falling leaves, community gatherings, MLB post-season, and Halloween has arrived. The weather forecasts are already beginning to show the advance of cooler, if not downright cold, temperatures. 

I am embracing October with my new found situational enthusiasm! Secretly, I know it is one month closer to pool opening season, currently planned for Saturday,  May 2nd, 214 days away--but hey, whose counting? (Yes, I have the day planned out already--subject to weather)

October is also home to Columbus Day--a holiday and we get to enjoy that day in two weeks. 

I admit, I am looking forward to traipsing through a corn field maze, drinking apple cider, munching on a crisp newly picked apple, and watching the leaves don their brilliance before checking out from the trees and becoming something to be removed from my yard.

But better than all of that? Since you can't have October without the O, the Orioles are in the MLB post-season and the first game is tomorrow night. It is the baseball post-season and the O's are still playing.

OK October, bring it on.

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

The Diverse Faces of September

The last day of the month has arrived. September 2014 is about to checkout and October is waiting to take its place.

As I reflected upon September, I realized that it was a very diverse  and busy month.

The month began, most fittingly, on the beach! It was my only trip to the beach during 2014. I enjoyed basking in the warmth and sun at Ocean City, Maryland. It was a rare month, because other than the Labor Day trip to Ocean City, I did not travel during the entire month. But, it was a full month, nonetheless.

From a sports perspective, I attended three Orioles, one Ravens football and four youth football games during the month. I also golfed on five occasions for a total of 63 holes. Just in the past couple of weeks, my 18 hole score dropped from 133 to 116. So instead of being horrible, I am just a terrible golfer. But I am having fun and I can't think of a better way to get 10,000 steps in a morning on my Fit Bit.  I have been playing racquetball regularly, too. I can't even begin to count the number of games I played during September.

As for the Orioles, I am poised to attend post-season baseball at Orioles Park at Camden Yards beginning this week--but that is October and I expect rain and cold as the weather changes from summer to autumnal.


Around the house, the pool is closed for the season, but the grass continues to grow and be mowed weekly. The family birthday season began and I am glad mine is the second in the series of eleven birthdays which do not end until April.

On successive days during the month, Chris and I found time to attend a fantastic wine dinner in Frederick and a show at the Hippodrome theater, which may be the worst venue in America for live performances. My review of the Hippodrome can be found at the link. 

I am sitting here looking out the window and it is dark outside. During September, the daylight begins to steadily disappear. Sunrise today is at 7:02 AM and it will set 11 hours and 49 minutes later at 6:51 PM. On September 1st, the times were very different, sunrise was at 6:35 AM and sunset at 7:37 PM for 13 hours and 2 minutes of sunlight.

September is the official end of summer and the beginning of autumn. I am embracing autumn--I really am! (trying). 

I know that the nice weather isn't over, it certainly won't be beach weather, but outdoor activities will continue. The outdoor activities will transition to leaf raking and preparing the yards for winter.

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD