Thursday, October 9, 2014

Take Charge and Take Control

I have been in a class this week learning about achieving effective results as a leader. I have been exposed to valuable concepts, but one thing I ran across--which is not part of the curriculum, is that some people have a victim mentality.

What is a victim mentality? It is perpetuating the belief that we cannot change our circumstances and that we have no control over what happens to us.

I do not subscribe to that idea. 

I do not want to live like a victim--sometimes bad things happen and we truly have no control over the event, but we can control how we react.

We do not need to react like a victim.

While we are not in control, we do not have to be victims--there are circumstances that we can control, and we should exercise controls appropriately.

One of the things we can control are the stories we use to understand the situations in our life. A classic victim story is the one that goes: "I work hard to give you all of the things you want and I have no time for myself." It is a rationalism--it is a victim story. The rationalism suggests that the person is not in control of their life and that everything that happens, occurs despite their efforts.

One of the hardest things we can do is take control of life because it means we can't blame our decisions on others. It goes back to the classic question: "Does a red light make you stop?" Of course not, it is a suggestion--a pretty good one, but we have to decide to follow the advice.

Stop being a victim and take control in the areas of life where it is possible.

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

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