"Me First" -- Of Mayors and Travel

Well--Baltimore hit the national news, again.

And like usual--it wasn't in a good way.

I remember a few years ago, Baltimore's neighbor to the south--Washington, DC has an infamous mayor too.

Shelia Dixon--I mean really--when was the last time someone gave gifts to their girl friend of 60 or so gift cards in low denominations?

The Washington Post story lays it out best:

AN ELECTED OFFICIAL who pilfers gift cards intended for needy children clearly puts her interests first. It should be no surprise, then, that Baltimore Mayor Sheila Dixon thinks she can stay in office after a jury found her guilty of misdemeanor theft. Her audacity only compounds her offense -- which is why we hope that Ms. Dixon soon feels enough public pressure to reconsider and resigns her office.

And that encapsulates everything wrong with the mayor situation in Baltimore. Too much "me first!"

And that same "Me First" pervades everything in our society right now.

Airlines are cashing in on it--United Airlines actually sells a package that allows people to board before they would normally board the airplane. I guess people just like being cramped into not enough space for a longer time.

Go anywhere there is a queue (or "line" for the American at heart) waiting to get into a venue. Line crashers who blatantly crash the line. I had a couple jump in front of me at the airport on Monday--they probably saved all of 30 seconds in their total check in procedure.

Even our driving represents a "me first" attitude. We hurry to make it through the stop light, or race out of concerts early so as not to be caught in the traffic mess.

We need to slow down a bit--and think of others.

This is a good time of year for that as it is the Christmas season.

Just don't take an example for the Mayor of Baltimore. And if you do slip into the "me first" admit you did it. Again--the mayor just isn't setting a good example for people to emulate.

First Snow--Denver style

So I had to travel two-thirds the way across the country to get my first snow of the season--but there it is this morning as I look out my hotel window. The ground is no longer brown, but white.

There is no doubt that I still do not fully appreciate the white stuff as it falls from the sky. I may appreciate it more after the dawn breaks and it I can see it more clearly draped across the landscape.

But it is there.

I can drive drive in the snow--but I worry about those who can't. Although, unlike Maryland--people here in the greater Denver area actually do know how to drive in snow and do not panic at the sight of the white stuff falling from the sky.

Of course, Denver has suffered through two blizzards already this season, so there is a lot more recent experience herein the snow driving than I possess.


We'll see how the drive goes as proceed out this morning.

Monday Musings - Tuesday, December 1, 2009

1. I waited until December to put these together because it was so close.

2. The last month of the year has arrived--and while the weather has been mild, with the holiday season upon us, I am sure the weather will turn more seasonal, too.

3. Traveling always reminds me of the vastness of the country and its diversity. Cities to open lands, mountains to rolling prairie, and don't forget the wide-open water of the Great Lakes.

4. Family--that is what makes Thanksgiving such a great holiday. I realize that i enjoy the day more because I have family to enjoy it with. We had four generations present around the table on Thursday--a definite wow factor ensued.

5. While I was off from work, enjoying family and relaxation of the holiday--there were millions of others who were working --whether serving us all by being on the front lines of the war in Afghanistan, or the operations centers monitoring the world, or in the police cars in my town or yours, or the hospitals caring for the sick. Some were flying the friendly skies while others were piloting the ships on the seas. Or in the grocery store I ran to on an emergency errand. God bless you all--who can't just take a day off because the calendar says it is a holiday.

6. One take away from the message in church on Sunday--was to be thankful for what we have--and express that thanks to others in the written word so they know that they are appreciated.

7. It is December--remember all of those New Year's resolutions? You have 31 days to get them done!

8. Can you remember life before cell technology? I can't. I mean how great is it to be able to call family from wherever I am in the world. And to talk to my family as they are driving to work or what ever they are doing!

9. Sadly, the annual Axis and Allies game did not happen--too many defectors from the group. We WILL reschedule for over the Christmas/New Year holiday break!

Fire in the Mountains

OK--this isn't my usual Monday musings--but I saw something again tonight that I just had to write about.

Fire in the mountains!

Yup--the sunset behind the Rockies illuminated the evening sky and made it appear as if the mountains were on fire. It was a sight to behold--and one that although I've seen before--I never grow tired of seeing.

Probably accentuated by the fact that I live in Maryland where there are no mountains of Rocky Mountain proportions.

The sky was a cyan and as the last rays faded--the mountains were silhouetted in splendor with orange and red colors behind them.

Camera?

It seems I always forget to bring one since I'm not on a tourist trip--but a business trip.

But I can see them in my mind--from my hotel room window looking across the plains to the foothills just north of Denver.

Is this what they call a Rocky Mountain high?

Chicago Morning

I just looked out the window of my Boeing 757 as we broke out of the clouds somewhere over Lake Michigan. And there she was. A jewel on the shore illuminated by the morning light. Chicago.

The lake was calm and blue. The skyscrapers were gathered together on the shore, like so many people headed down to the water's edge they seemed from 38,000 feet.

It was pretty. They looked small like a Lego city. Yet I know they tower to a thousand feet or more above the ground.

I almost never sit in window seats, but today the plane is full and I didn't have a choice. I guess I miss a lot of sights when I travel on the aisle of life.

I can see the cloud bank off in the west waiting to obscure the ground from my view again. But for a brief minute I could see how a city gathers together on the shore of a magnificent lake.

And the clouds have returned with their light "chop" as the pilots call it when it feels like the jet is hitting potholes in the road. It is like riding a bus--or not.

I love looking at America and being reminded that the world is so much bigger than my backyard.



Bob Doan
Elkridge, MD
Sent from My Blackberry

And the Holiday Engines are Revving

shopping

decorating

eating

drinking

driving

racquetball

Snow village set-up

Do you know what all of these have in common?

These are all activities I participated in today.

The day began with a racquetball match--at 8AM, which I actually played early from my league since I will be in Denver this week.

Then I hurried home to say good-bye to my parents who departed for upstate NY--after enjoying Thanksgiving here with us.

And then, it was Snow Village set-up time, which was postponed form last week because we didn't know where we wanted to set it up. And we still didn't as the day began. So we have two villages in operation for the Christmas season.

And then there was pizza from last night for lunch AND Thanksgiving day 3 for dinner.

Not to be forgotten--we did have to go shopping for more Christmas related stuff for the house today. But--even though it was right in the middle of setting up the Snow Village--it worked out.

In a few minutes we will be heading out to spend an evening with our friends and enjoy some wine and dessert---yay! Mostly about the wine.

Ah, the holiday season is upon us--Ho Ho Ho and all that stuff.

But--keep our wits about us and we'll probably survive.

The Day After--The Feast before

Why do they call it Black Friday?

The sun came up, right?

The tryptophan induced slumber ended with a fully rested person ready to confront the crowds, right?

Ah, yes--it is a retailing term when the retailers make money and push their books into the "black" for the year. Really?

No matter, it really isn't black though--it is a pleasant color--pick one, like orange, because:

This holiday we have survived a car accident--no injuries, my future daughter-in-law slid into the car in front of her on the rain drenched streets of Columbia.

I survived being shot with by a space ray gun in the possession of my 20 month old grandson, Jax, the miracle baby, and

Playing whack-a-mole with Ethan.

I Watched most of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade only to miss Santa's arrival.

There was more food to choose from to eat than the grand buffet.

I enjoyed watching Star Trek with my Dad!

I suffered through watching the hapless Detroit Lions lose to the Packers and the crazy Dallas Cowboys figure out how to score points again. And then I found out I forgot to play Miles Austin in Fantasy Football believing for some reason earlier in the week that Chad Ochocinco is going to do better? Ugh! At least Aaron Rogers and Donald Driver of the Packers gave me 52 points.

I felt good about having people enjoy the wines I selected for dinner! I highly recommend Willamette Valley, Oregon, Pinot Noir wines for complex meals--like Thanksgiving. We enjoyed the Cardwell Hill this year along with a Jefferson Vineyards Cabernet Franc and a Chardonnay.

And so I am sitting here--looking out the window at the clearing skies preparing to take life and limb into my own hands and sally forth to Home Depot for ceiling paint and sale priced Christmas Trees.

The coffee pot has already been emptied once--and I need to make more because Dad hasn't stirred from his slumber yet! Which is fine, because I can always drink more coffee.

At least my turkey statue is still in place next to the fireplace and we are not "all Christmas all the time," yet.

Football, Turkey and Mince Pie

Well it is here.

The day dreams are made of and waistlines are wasted.

The annual tribute to gluttony and the NFL and mince pies.

A day of Thanks to our Creator for His blessings.

And to families, and to giving thanks for all we have.

And for the blessings of life.

And for those who have gone before us to preserve our freedoms.

And for pausing to remember.

A question our family asks each other on Thanksgiving is "What do you have to be thankful for this year?" It is an important question to ask because it helps us appreciate what we have instead of focusing on what we want.

I know too many people who are unhappy because they do not have something they want and yet should be happy with all that they have. We are a blessed to overwhelming people. There are places in the world where people cannot even imagine all that we have--electronics, food, clean water, a home of our own, a lawn to mow, two cars (or three), education, and freedoms unimagined.

I know I am thankful for my wife, my family (with the broadest interpretation you can use as to who qualifies). Our family is an inclusive family--if you're here, you are family. And to my friends, because God has blessed us with some really awesome friends, who really aren't friends, but are family.

I am thankful for my job--it keeps me busy and happy and gives me a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

And I'm thankful for racquetball which makes me get out and move even when I'd rather be a slug on the sofa.

And I'm thankful for my dog--if someone had asked me last year if I wanted a puppy I would have said no--emphatically! That would have been a mistake. So I'm thankful no one listened.

And I am thankful that I can help people less fortunate than me. That i can make a difference in this world by starting right here in our community.

And I am thankful that I am happy. I am content in where I am--I would rather be diving, but that is a pipe dream.

And I am thankful

I am happy I am not a turkey!

I am happy that I can see a future. that I can plan. That I have a realistic chance to see my planning come to fruition.

And finally--I am thankful for all the things I don't even realize I'm thankful for--like my 4th and 5th grade teacher teaching me to stand in front of a bunch of people and speak without fear.

And so, I've droned on and on, but I'm reminded of the Thanksgiving Hymn

We gather together to ask the Lord's blessing. . .

Leader of the Pack

I read an interesting Op-Ed piece in the New York Times yesterday about how people are taking the advice from the Dog Whisperer, Cesar Millan, and using it to improve their home life with their children. I extracted a portion below for your enjoyment:

Becoming the Alpha Dog in Your Own Home

“When we started watching his shows, we had intended to apply his advice toward our dogs,” said Amy Twomey, a blogger on parenthood for The Dallas Morning News who is raising three children under 10 with her husband, Matt. “But we realized a lot of ideas can be used on our kids.”

Indeed, Mr. Millan’s advice has replaced a shelf full of books on how to tame an unruly child. “It’s all the same simple concept: how to be the pack leader in your own house,” she said.

Certainly, an army, or at least a few divisions, of credentialed experts on human parenthood long ago stumbled on Mr. Millan’s philosophical holy trinity — exercise, discipline and affection equals happiness. And Mr. Millan does not hold himself up as a new Dr. Spock; he has never opined on how one should raise a creature with two legs in his show on the National Geographic Channel, or in his four books.

So, kids and dogs are similar?

Until a year ago, when I received Makayla as Christmas gift and have had the pleasure of growing up with a puppy again, I would have disagreed. But--now I believe they are indeed similar. Not that kids are dogs, but that I (as dad, grandad, or dog owner) need to be ready to take charge and be the leader.

I believe that children, like dogs, are looking for someone to be in charge and to look out for their best interest. Unlike children, dogs are equipped to fill this role by nature; but children need adults to watch over them until they are--well probably into their 20's or so.

So reread the piece above and note the discussion of Millan's trinity: exercise, discipline, and affection.

Dogs require it--to be happy and allow their owners to be happy.

Children require these three things, too--and from talking to Chris about many of the children in her school--kids today are not getting enough of any of the three.

Note something here--all three require the active participation of the parent (or dog owner). These times become relationship builders. Be they exercise, or discipline (think of it as boundary setting and enforcing), and affection. Parents can't just show up occasionally--toss some gifts at the kids and think they are showing affection.

There is a time cost to having a dog.
There is a larger time cost (read: investment) in raising children.

I know that Chris and I are extremely conscious of being out in the evening and not spending time with Makayla after she has been in her kennel all day--we experience the consequences of lack of affection, exercise, and discipline. A poor night sleep because we have a restless dog.

And parents--who consistently fail to provide these three things for their children wonder why they have problems with their kids

Maybe Cesar has something here. Kids are definitely not dogs, but from the adult/parent standpoint; the personal interaction that is required to have a good dog is even more required to have great kids.

AND, by the way--Chris and I are blessed to have three great kids, 2 and 3/4 grandkids, and three great spouses (or almost spouses) for our three great kids. Blame it all on Chris, she actually spent the TIME to do the exercise, discipline, and affection.

All without a dog trainer to tell her what to do.

What Time is it?

I heard an interesting sermon in church on Sunday--it was about the most asked question in American society today: "What Time is it?"

It seems that we are all asking this one question more than any other question. We all want to know what time it is. And it got me thinking.

I do wonder about the time a lot. Whether it is because I need to attend a meeting at work, or go somewhere, or am wondering how much longer until I can go home.

But it seems I am always wondering about the time because there is something I need to do that needs to be synchronized with someone else. And we are all precise!
- Do NOT be late to a meeting!
- Do NOT miss an appointment at the doctor's office or they will charge you.
- Don't forget to have dinner ready!

I remember when I was a kid--I measured time differently. How many months, then days, then hours until Christmas! Or how many months, then days, and then hours until summer vacation. There were bells in the school to tell me when to change classes--so I didn't need to worry about the time, just the next bell.

My understanding of time was larger and the accuracy was less precise.

The pace of life was different--I didn't need to ask so many times per day what time it was, because all I needed to know was that it was daylight or dark and that pretty well defined the level of accuracy I needed.

I long for those days.

Kind of like vacation--I get up when I wake up, not when the alarm goes off (unless of course I need to meet the dive boat at 6:30am).

When I'm on vacation, I leave to do something--when I'm ready and not because I have to be at work on time.

On vacation, the structure of my life changes--for the better. I get more rest. I am happier.

And you know what--when I ask "what time it is" it is because I don't want what I'm doing to end, rather than needing to get prepared to race to another appointment.

And so, I've thought about the question a bit, and do you know "What time it is?"

Time for change!