I learned a new combination of words yesterday that have a complicated and far more difficult connotation than I realized.
"At least . . . "
The words have two definitions, one is clearly mathematical and the other is for use in a life setting:
if nothing else (used to add a positive comment about a generally negative situation).
"the options aren't complete, but at least they're a start"
At lease can be used by well-meaning people who just do not understand a situation to try to make people feel better. But it falls well short.
Examples:
My cat ran away.
At least you have two dogs.
My car is broken.
At least you can have it fixed.
My roof is leaking.
At least you have a house.
I have (insert some disease or sickness)
At least it is treatable.
I saw a short video by Dr Brene Brown in a leadership class yesterday about the difference between empathy and sympathy and the use of the words "at least" really resonated with me. If you have a few minutes, watch the whole video, but if you are in a hurry, fast forward to 1:55.
I realized that using the words "at least" minimize the problem and the feelings of the person with the problem. They do not help and they may harm.
The image I added to the blog highlights the problem. When I fail, I don't want to be reminded that I tried, and failed. I want someone to understand where I am. Maybe just a hug and a reassurance that I am not alone.
I read another blog on the sympathy and empathy. I found it short and interesting.
What’s The Difference Between Empathy And Sympathy, And Why Has Sympathy Got Such A Bad Name?
I am going to try not to use the words "at least" except when referring to mathematical situations in the future. I realize that "at least" does not convey my true intent when someone brings a problem or concern to my attention.
At least it is Friday.
-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD
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