Facades and Family

Holidays are times for families to get together. I had a fantastic time yesterday with our family--and it was our complete family, all eleven of us plus a few welcome additions, as we gathered for the Thanksgiving celebration and meal. 

Yesterday, however, I noticed that some seem to put their "game-face" on when they get around family. I wonder if it is because they don't want to be there because something happening behind the scenes that they don't want the others to know about, or worse, that they do not feel supported by the family.

Families should be a safe environment where members can be themselves and relate what is occurring in their lives without fear of retribution or retaliation. Life can be hard. When there are too many unspoken grievances bubbling beneath the seemingly placid facade, the family needs to examine its collective self. Family members must feel safe being themselves and leave the game-face at home. They should depend upon the collective strength of the family support them when needed and then to support others when required.  And the entire family should celebrate successes of each member when they occur.

Families are forever we need to live like it.  


-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD