The Battle is Over and the Survivors Remain

Troy with Lucas last weekend

Many of you know that my 23 year old nephew Troy has been fighting valiantly against cancer. The end came suddenly and unexpectedly yesterday and has left a gaping hole in the hearts of everyone who knew him--his family, friends, and the healthcare professionals who worked with him.

It was just last Sunday, five days ago, that he and his mom were at my house on their way home from the Master's Golf Tournament in Augusta, Georgia, where he was able to attend the opening round. I had no indication then as they pulled out of the driveway that it would be the last time that I would hug him and tell him that I loved him.

There is a huge hole in my heart.

I always believed that he would beat the evil illness that was trying to kill him from within.

Last Saturday I officiated at the wedding of my best friends and a week from tomorrow I will be attending Troy's memorial service. It is surreal.

Troy (on right) and his family with Derek Jeter last year

I am mad that the doctors couldn't heal Troy. I am mad that science has not figured out how to cure this terrible plague on humanity despite the billions of dollars that it has consumed.

I want to do something--I want to change the culture among young men so that we can talk about private things more openly--like Testicular Cancer. How many other young men must suffer and die before we can overcome the social taboos and begin to save lives? 

I was thinking of an Easter Hymn--The Strife is O'er, the Battle Won, I don't know why, during the six hour drive from Baltimore to Ithaca yesterday. Maybe it is because it is the Easter season and today is Good Friday when our Savior died for our sins and to give us eternal life. 

Some of the Lyrics are as follows:

Nicole and Troy many years ago

The strife is o'er, the battle done,
the victory of life is won;
the song of triumph has begun.

The powers of death have done their worst,
but Christ their legions hath dispersed:
let shout of holy joy outburst.
Troy's three year plus battle is over and while he is no longer with us, I am convinced that he won the battle. He demonstrated grace and incredible maturity and resilience at every step of the way. I watched him grow from a boy into a man. We who remain behind are scarred; there is a big hole in our lives. But my memories of him are real and keep him alive to me.

I know that Troy still lives because I believe in eternal life. I know, in my head, that his pain and suffering have been taken away. But because Troy no longer walks among us I cry.  We have lost someone that cannot be replaced--a unique man with incredible promise and abilities. He has walked across the bridge from life into eternal life and although I cannot see him and talk to him anymore--he is alive in my heart and I will see him again, someday.

As I once heard a very wise man say, he has a new address in his forever home and while I can't text him on my cell anymore--he will be there when I finally take up residence in my forever home.

I still cannot believe that he is gone--but he will never be forgotten.

-- Bob Doan, writing from Ithaca, NY

The Race for Maryland's Governor

The advertisements and campaigning have begin in earnest for this November's election. Maryland will get a new governor. The O'Malley tenure will finally come to an end, but sadly, I'm not sure, from what I've seen so far, that the ineptitude in the State House will come to an end.

The Maryland Minority Report highlights some of the abuses of power that the majority party continues to inflict upon the residents of the state. For me, I would like to see a flat income tax--period. Everyone contributes to support the state and the services they receive. Why is that bad?

Maryland politics needs a thorough house cleaning, from top to bottom. With the just ended legislative season I was appalled at by the statement of many delegates as they remarks---we didn't raise taxes, but we reduced deductions. Really? What is the difference? I lose more of my take home pay to support the bloated spending in Annapolis. 

Bottom line is that I need to see some concrete proposals from the candidates as to how to relieve the tax burden and become a thriftier state in terms of budget. 

So far--only platitudes about supporting the disabled and what the candidates did in their prior lives before politics. Let's get real--the state needs leadership to get out of the budgetary abyss that it is falling into and which is threatening the industrial base as well as the livelihood of everyone who lives here.

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

Spring Break 2014

It finally arrived yesterday, Spring Break. After a whirlwind trip to Denver, I was able to join Chris for a week off of house projects and other activities around the house. Some call it Spring Cleaning. Sadly, though, I brought the cold weather back with me from Denver and this morning has dawned clear and cold at 31 degrees.

Weeping Cherry 2014

I am glad that I have not planned a lot of outside activities for today until it warms back up a bit. I had thought about a baseball game, but I am not sure I really want to brave the cold to watch baseball. 

The flowering trees around the area remind me of how beautiful springtime is with the trees looking like snow cones on a trunk alongside the highway. Even my weeping cherry is breaking into blossom in response to the warmer temperatures and longer sunshine. Except for the below freezing temperatures, this is a great time of year because the scenery changes day-by-day as more and more plants begin the wake up process from their winter slumber.

Leaves coming on the trees

I noticed green leaves finally coming on many of the trees yesterday as well during the torrential rains which definitely exceeded the whole concept of April showers bringing the May flowers. 

I am excited that summer is getting closer, but I definitely want to enjoy the springtime this year as well. The winter was tough and it is making the prospect of springtime all the more appealing. 

Bring on the sun and fun! Soon, please.

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

Out the Hotel Window - Denver, April 2014

Out the Hotel Window

Penance! That is what it was. 

I had to pay for the glorious weekend that I enjoyed in Baltimore including days of temperatures above 80 degrees.

And so on Sunday evening I flew to Denver and was greeted by a blinding snow storm and temperatures of about 25 degrees. I left Baltimore in a shirt sleeves and had to pull my winter coat out of my suitcase before deplaning in Denver.

The dawn, while beautiful, was snow covered. And cold! I am ready for this kind of weather to be gone. Forever gone. Well, at least until December or next January.

Later that same day at the airport

It was definitely not the D.C. Cherry Blossom Festival. The roads were icy in the morning and reminded me of everything I do NOT miss about Winter.

The good news is that the snow melted and was gone by the afternoon. Yay. Although, there is more snow in their forecast. Happily, I won't be around to enjoy it.

-- Bob Doan, writing from Denver, Colorado while waiting at the airport

Monday Musings - April 14, 2014

Ethan Opening Gifts

1. My reward for enjoying 80 degree temperatures this past weekend was flying into a snowstorm last evening and going back to 20 degree temps.

2. Birthday celebrations can be overwhelming. I think Ethan was a bit overwhelmed yesterday celebrating his birthday.

Lucas, Chris, and the Tractor

3. I was able to mow the lawn for the first time during 2014 yesterday. I was very excited and I was able to enjoy some quality time with Lucas as well. Little boys love riding on tractors.

4. It is funny how different people are when it comes to driving routes. I like the get there the fastest route, but others like the stay away from the big city routes. It is great that we can all get along and drive the paths we choose.

Mary and Fran and Me at the Wedding

5.  Two of my best friends got married this weekend, and it was fun to see them so happy. I need to spend more time enjoying being happy.

6. I like wifi on planes, it makes the time go faster.

7. Kitty is officially for sale on auto trader. It will be hard to let the old car go.

8. Overheard at the birthday party as the gifts were being opened: "Don't give it to gramma."

-- Bob Doan, writing from Denver, CO

Miles 4 Kyle

Miles for Kyle

I happened upon an interesting event yesterday. I was a charity event for a college student at the University of Maryland who has cancer. It was called Miles for Kyle. 

Groups of runners, followed by two busses and escorted by police were running along US 1 from College Park to Johns Hopkins to raise money for a fellow student afflicted with a rare form of cancer. I could not find direct information about the run on the internet, but I did find a couple of other events dedicated to Kyle.

I was parking my car in Elkridge town center when I saw the police escorting the group. I was lucky enough to learn the story from the proud mother of one of the runners who was there taking images of the group as the ran through Elkridge. 

It is amazing what a bunch of college kids were able to put together to support one of their own. I learned that Kyle was not able to observe the event because he was receiving therapy in Baltimore that day. But his friends were definitely on guard for him that day. 

As a result of my conversation with the proud Mom, I found the imaged note on the seat of my car when I returned. She was a great woman of faith and we had a deep conversation about cancer and young people and God's plan. We talked about how it is encouraging to see young people rally for those in need. I think we were both encouraged by each other after that short exchange. 

It is amazing how you can meet the best people in the most unexpected places. And I am praying for Kyle, and all of his supporters, too! 

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

Hats of the Game

Maryland Flag O's Cap

Hats are worn everywhere and for almost every occasion  I must own 50 or more hats and caps. And I do have a hat for every occasion. 

Showing off my new cap with Patrick

This morning I have a new hat! I was at the Orioles game last evening, watching them lose because of ugly errors, but came home with the hat the that I had wanted since Opening Day thanks to the perseverance of Patrick and Tina. I had gone to the only stadium store which sells the hats and they did not have my size. Chris and I asked the manager about more hats in my size--which apparently in one of the most popular sizes only to be given a number to call back during the week when more were expected. As a surprise, later that same game, Patrick and Tina were able to get a hat, in my size, from the same store and the same manager! How does that work?

That was my personal highlight of the game--that, and being out on a beautiful, but breezy, Friday night with Chris, family and friends. 

I wish the outcome of the game had been different, but it was a beautiful early April evening and I was happy to be out at the ballpark celebrating the first official 80 degree day since October 2013 and watching baseball.

Thanks for the hat! When is my next game?

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

Spring Fever

Forsythia by the House

Yesterday was one of those days that I just enjoy because i can marvel at how quickly the springtime had shaken off Winter's cold grip. 

I was able to check out some of the true signs of Spring and enjoy their once per year color. For instance, my forsythia are in full bloom. Hidden around the side of the house, I almost missed their flowery explosion which brightens an otherwise dark corner of my lot. 

Buds on the Weeping Cherry

I was encouraged by the greening of the grass and the other early springtime flowers which are pushing up into the the sunshine. I saw my bleeding hearts pushing through the mulch into the sunshine where soon they will be part of the next wave of plants to blossom as life returns to the gardens. 

I am waiting for my weeping cherry to blossom. It has buds and should be beautiful for Easter pictures. I love Spring! It is fun to watch everything spring back to life.

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

The Pool Man Cometh

Pool on Closing Day 2013

I was around by my pool yesterday evening with a contractor who will be giving me an estimate about rehabbing the entire thing.

It needs it because it is about 23 years old and most everything associated with pools is certified for about 15 years. We are about 8 years beyond the normal life expectancy.

That, however, translates into thousands of dollars. I found out that there are no tax credits available for upgrading pools! Now I know why so many get filled in about 15 years into their life. 

Dirt is dirt cheap!

But, it is time to redo the pool and continue to make it the centerpiece of my resort-life at home concept. If I can't live on a beach, I can at least bring the beach life to me.

I realized that I need to order the chemicals--better living through chemicals, to get the pool through another summer. When I looked under the cover last evening I saw the usual springtime mess on the bottom. Important note though, I could see the bottom!

May 3rd is coming and that is pool opening day and my unofficial beginning to summer. 

The weather seems to be cooperating as well, the first 70's of the year are forecast for the weekend.

It is going to be awesome! Why am I always looking ahead to the fun activities that I'm going to do as an escape from the mundane things that I'm doing?

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

Fortunes of the Game

Safe at Home!

Baseball is a fickle sport. Unlike football, a four game losing streak is not the end of the season, but rather just another bump in the highway that is MLB's 162 game season. 

It is hard to get excited about a team when they are losing, but a big win, like the one yesterday over the team from the north that shall remain nameless, restores a swagger to both the team and their fans. And hey, they have won two of their past three games.

But today is another day. The teams will take the field tonight to do it all over again.

Baseball provides an example for life. Just because yesterday was, bad or good, today is a new day with new possibilities. It is not a day until I get into it and despite the apparently crushing schedule  I may have on my calendar, I still have the opportunity to crush a home run and have a great day. Even if I don't park one over the fence, I can still hit a solid single and bring the day home successfully.

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD