Reflections

I decided to read through some of my first blogs the other day--to get in touch with where I've been and to help me stay true to my vision for this blog.

I found that my blogging has become a journal of my thoughts and the events in my life that I want (or not) to share with others.

And so I reread the first entries that I made as I inaugurated the blog in December 2007 and into 2008. I reviewed the entries of joy, and hope, and also the hard times surrounding the miracle baby, Jax and his stunning recovery from open heart surgery at six days old.

I reflected on how Jax is one of the smartest and most energetic kids that I know--and I recalled seeing him connected to all of the wires and tubes keeping him alive in those hours after the surgery, no one would believe it now--except for still visible straight line on his chest--that reminder of God's mercy and healing power given to this one little precious boy.

And then I ker-thunk-ed.

From the miracle of Jax I ran headlong into one of the darkest and most difficult decisions that I have ever made recorded in the entries from March and April 2008. Perhaps I was reviewing these blog entries because of a song that Eric Scott sang at the house concert which I found therapeutic. Perhaps because there are still dangling threads to this chapter of my life that need to be tied up. What ever the reason--they are still there, raw and dangling.

I saw that I had hidden within my leadership essays the pain that I was feeling during that time. The betrayal. The loss of friends and connectedness with a family of believers that I had been a member of for a long while. I chalked much of it up to life lessons, but even now, two-and-a-half years later I have a hard time getting over the broken relationships with people whom I considered not just friends--but family. When I really needed support and an arm on my shoulder--I got sermonizing and bad theology from the person who I both respected and considered to be my closest friend.


I felt that I had to leave because the bonds of trust and friendship had been crushed through words and inaction.

I was reminded at this point of a verse from Job--"Then they sat down with him on the ground for seven days and seven nights, yet no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his pain was very great." Job 2:13 - NIV. And I reflected that for seven days Job's friends just sat with him--they were with him and said nothing. Can you imagine sitting with someone for seven days and saying nothing? Just being there?

Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing at all.

I wrote some blogs which helped me deal with my hurt while also trying to help me catalog some of the leadership principles that I could see coming from the reflection on everything that brought me to make the decision--Empowerment and Encouragement and People or process? Where's the joy? These two blogs were the first in my Leadership Series and they also were ripe with the pain I was feeling. Another Leadership Series blog about Co-leadership is also based upon my experience and it has been read worldwide and I have received more email about this entry than any other blog I have written. It is apparently widely used in some colleges.

Sadly, though I wrote of my pain and frustration--my friend never pursued me, so I know that the relationship was one-way. I believe this because when I lose something, or something gets lost, like keys or a dog or a cat, I pursue it. I look for it. I find it! Are not people and their relationships worth even more than the relationship with a dog or cat? Yet, through this I felt as if I have been erased from the memory despite my occasional attempts to reconnect, which so far have been rebuffed.

The whole situation is like a festering sore that is quiet for a while and then flares up. And then I bury it again and forget it. But some nights, when I have insomnia, I remember the good times and wonder how they went so terribly bad. I think is was a package deal, all wrapped up in the emotion of Jax's crisis and the family coming together.

But it is still out there--in the dark nights, in the blogs, in my heart. Maybe like Eric Scott, I should write a song.

Or a blog.

To read again in a few years.

But I stopped reviewing my blog at that point. Who knows what else is hidden in there, clawing at the prison bars to escape? I'm almost afraid to look.

Flying Old Glory - Update

Sanity reigns.

This just in from California regarding my post from earlier this morning:

A news article from this mornings Turlock Journal

Cody Alicea can fly his flag again:

However, after an outcry was raised locally and from afar, the district reversed that call on Friday, once again allowing Alicea to fly Old Glory.

This is critical and a huge victory for patriotism. But the article also points out some of the rest of the story.

The way it happened:

“A school employee said some students have been complaining about my flag and I needed to take it down,” Alicea said. “So I took it down. I was kind of mad and upset because I have been flying it for two months and all of a sudden its Veterans week and it’s a problem.”

The Denair Unified School District backed up the campus supervisor’s decision, in part because they had previously made other students stop displaying the flag of Mexico on Cinco de Mayo.

I had forgotten that Denair was the district which had banned the Mexican flag on Cinco de Mayo. But still--banning the American flag is a lot different. Like--this is the U.S. and not Mexico.

And by the way--the victory at Puebla on Cinco de Mayo was a victory for all of North America and probably allowed the Civil War to end with the United States re-unified rather than two separate countries.

But--that is a story for another day.

Congrats Cody and all Americans--we can still fly our flag in the USA!

Whose Flag are they Talking About?

Published yesterday--November 12, from the people's democratic republic of California comes the following news item:

School Makes Boy Take American Flag Off Bike
Elissa Harrington FOX40 News
November 12, 2010
DENAIR -
13-year-old Cody Alicea rides with an American flag on the back of his bike. He says he does this to be patriotic and to honor veterans, like his own grandfather, Robert. He's had the flag on his bike for two months but Monday, was asked told to take it down.

A school official at Denair Middle School told Cody some students had been complaining about the flag and it was no longer allowed on school property.

"In this country we're supposed to be free," said Cody. "And I should be able to wave my flag wherever I want to. And they're telling me I can't."


There is a little bit more to the story--but these are the salient paragraphs, click on the title link for the complete text.

I did a little research on this. Denair is a public school system and therefore, presumably, it flys an American flag in front of the school and probably has an American flag in every classroom. So I wonder--how could they ban an American flag from school property?

The Denair Middle School has a website which, when I last checked, made no mention of the report--but the site was running, as you might suspect, very slowly.

They did not call it an safety hazard--just an unspecified complaint.

I wish all the kids would ride their bikes with American flags on them! It is what i was bemoaning on Veteran's Day about the schools not promoting patriotism--but rather an educational based humanistic socialism.

I bet young Cody was just having too much fun being a proud American.

We can't have that, can we?

So What Did You Do On Your Day Off?

It is a rare thing when I have a day off and Chris has to work.

It only happens about three times a year--Columbus Day, Veteran's Day and President's Day.

So I do look forward to those days on my own--where I can get special projects accomplished and I can work at a leisurely pace around the house.

Sadly, the days never work out like I imagine them.

I had dreams of an afternoon nap--a leisurely day. But then reality set in.

The day started great--did I sleep in? No. I didn't plan on sleeping in and I chose instead to play racquetball at 0530--as I do on most Thursdays. I am continuing to play even though my game is becoming "spotty" at best. The best position for my opponent to be in is for me to have a lead--like 11-5. Yeah, I'm losing a lot now 15-11 after leading big. Ugh! I can't close the game out--kinda like the Ravens last night losing 26-21.

But still, I love racquetball.

And then the real day began. Back home for breakfast with Chris and watching the Today Show. I'm a hopeless Today Show junkie and I usually only get to see it on weekends.

Coffee, breakfast, the paper, computer in my lap and my dog at my feet--what could be better?

Really? Not much.

But I had a physical to go off to. Chris loves to schedule doctor appointments on my days off--that way I don't have an excuse.

And the doctor's appointment went amazingly well. I was home for lunch and then onto the big project: putting up the outdoor Christmas lights. We do this on warm days in the period between Veteran's Day and Thanksgiving. We don't turn them on until the Friday after Thanksgiving, but they are ready and I do not have to suffer through numb fingers and chilling temperatures to get the lights up if I do them on a warmer day--which yesterday was.

A normally two hour project took almost four hours!

I was besieged by nagging little problems--which sucked up the entire afternoon and of course my desired nap time too.

So by the time I finished, Chris was getting home from her day and we had dinner plans with friends.

At least I was able to enjoy a free Blooming Onion at Outback in honor of Veterans! Which I am. And we had a great dinner with stimulating conversation.

So what did I do on my day off? All of the important stuff but little of the enjoyable stuff.

And who knew that a day off was so much shorter than a regular work day?

Veteran's Day 2010

It saddens me that some holidays are just not widely observed anymore. Schools are in session and many businesses are open today. We as Americans are not taking time to remember an important segment of our population--our Veterans.


We are losing a part of our past, our heritage and our history.





A day like today reminds us of the sacrifice and patriotism that so many of our brothers and sisters have made to secure us the freedoms that we have today.





Instead of fighting for our survival as a nation and a people, we are fighting among ourselves over health care and taxes and other more domestic needs. That is far better that than fighting for our very survival--thanks to our veterans.

I'm not sure our schools are doing a good job of instilling the core values of our country into our youth. Taking time to teach about sacrifice and heroism. Touching on those potentially politically incorrect subjects because they are fact--and need to be discussed.

Service before self. (USAF core value)

Ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country! (President John F. Kennedy Inaugural Address 1961)

I only regret that I have but one life to give for my country. (Nathan Hale, 1776)

I have not yet begun to fight. (John Paul Jones, 1779)

Nuts! (General Anthony Clement "Nuts" McAuliffe, December 1944, Bastogne)

Better to fight for something than live for nothing. (General George S. Patton)

It is good that war is so horrible, or we might grow to like it. (General Robert E. Lee)

Every attempt to make war easy and safe will result in humiliation and disaster. (General William Tecumseh Sherman)

Set your course by the stars, not by the lights of every passing ship. (General Omar N. Bradley)

Hahn Cabernet Sauvignon 2008 - Review

It has been a while since I reviewed a wine, mostly because I have been using Cellar Tracker and writing reviews there as I sample different wines.

But, this wine was recently recommended to me and I really need to let everyone know how good this wine is--and it is a best value, even according to Wine Enthusiast magazine.

Chris and I sampled Hahn Cabernet Sauvignon 2008 the other evening. We were both very impressed. This wine is really special.

The wine is described this way on the website:

Luscious scents of sweet berry fruits, opening to wisps of cola, licorice, and spice. Ripe blackberry and boysenberry fruit flavors are accompanied by notes of cassis and vanilla, balanced by firm tannins and food-friendly acidity.

Deep ruby in the glass, this Cabernet Sauvignon commands attention from the moment it is poured. Rich, luscious scents of sweet berry fruits entice the nose, opening to wisps of cola, licorice, and spice. An intense core of ripe blackberry and boysenberry greets the palate, giving way to notes of cassis, vanilla and earth. Firm tannins and food-friendly acidity balance the plush fruit, leading to a long, pleasant finish.

The intense character and complex nature of this Cabernet Sauvignon make it a strong partner for meat dishes such as beef stew and roasted venison. Try it also with a flavorful starter, such as gorgonzola and walnuts, or a simple dessert like espresso gelato.

I found this to be very true. I wrote the wine us as follows: This is a great wine especially considering the price. Great nose followed by a taste which includes dark cherry and black currant flavors. Some structure underneath the berry flavors with tannins. Nice feel in the mouth and it finishes strong and lingers.

RECOMMENDATION: If you like Cabernet Sauvignon, buy this wine. For about $10 per bottle, the price is great and the wine drinks very nicely and it should continue to drink nicely for a few more years.

Eric Scott House Concert Review

Cellar Music Concert- ilyAIMY 2009

I attended a house concert Saturday, November 6th night featuring Eric Scott. The concert was sponsored by Cellar Music and in short it was fabulous.

The venue, in a wine cellar in a private home, is intimate and has excellent acoustics. The performer sits with the patrons and it makes for a highly interactive concert and great access to the performer. Cellar Music has an informative website describing the concerts--which are for singer song writers and not cover bands. If you have never been to a house concert, I highly recommend you check one out. And there is probably none better than Cellar Music.

But let me tell you about the performer--Eric Scott. Eric sang all of his own songs with the exception of one encore song which he covered an old Cat Stevens song. Check out his website for additional information.

Eric Scott

I found Eric to be extremely personable and interactive with the audience. He sings his music and plays the bass guitar and brings Mike Stacey along to play lead guitar. It works. The two work really well together and have a comfort level which showcases the music and the talent of both performers.

Eric has a strong and sweet mid-tenor voice. His lyrics are deep and meaningful but the melodies are easy to sing along with. The concert attendees actually began singing some of the songs while Eric was performing--the tunes are just that compelling. And they are singable. Eric was on pitch for every note of every song--and even when he agreed to play song that he had not played in a long time--after a short pause to checkout the words--it was flawless. There are Christian overtones to much of his music--which add to the authentic nature of the performer and the performance. The music is from life and the heart. Some of the lyrics are really hard--hard in that they touch the raw nerve of hurt and pain, but it is also therapeutic.

The performance showcased the familiarity between Eric and Mike. There were long guitar riffs and solos that not only added to the intimacy of the music, but also showed the mutual respect between Eric and Mike as music professionals.

Listening to songwriters sing their own music is really satisfying. You hear the stories behind the songs and what led the writer to write the song. Eric provided a lot of background on his songs--which makes the entire evening just that much more enjoyable.You feel like you are getting to really know someone and even making a new friend.

Well, it was a great evening. Great music, good friends and concert goers and you know what? No post concert traffic jam! That is another great advantage of the whole house concert idea--access to the performer and no post concert traffic. The best it can be. When was the last time you went to a concert and got the performer to sign the CDs? Or even talked to the performer about their music.

Thanks Pam and Gary of Cellar Music for hosting the concert and especially thanks to Eric and Mike for their music. It was a great concert and was the best house concert that I have attended.

Monday Musings - November 8, 2010

1. From the editorial page of the Baltimore Sun on November 4, 2010 about the election: "Change wins again . . . . . .but not in Maryland."

2. Even after 56 years--it is good to see a team win the World Series. I guess San Francisco has finally shaken off the demons from moving out of New York in 1958. I thought they were the best team and I was happy to see them win.

3. Wow--I got my water bill the other day for the summer months. There is something fundamentally wrong when the government (Howard County) can raise water rates without notice AND THEN provide the bill with a new due date almost three weeks earlier than expected designed to coincide with the start of the Holiday Shopping season. I'm just frustrated, I wonder how many homeowners out there this is really going to cause a problem for. It certainly was short-sighted on their part.

4. I ran across some really interesting statements from Regina Brett's book God Never Blinks: 50 Lessons for Life’s Little Detours. They are in a newsletter titled Chocolate, Purple And Making Peace With The Past – 50 Lessons To Live By. I found them interesting and here are a couple.

- Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

- Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

- Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

- Forgive everyone everything.

- Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

5. Looking for something to do on a cold Saturday evening? Attend a house concert, I did. Full review tomorrow.

E-day

Wednesday is becoming known as home and at work as E-day.

I am following up on a blog from a couple of weeks ago--Gap Filler Pop-pop.

For a couple of weeks now, I have continued to be the after school care giver gap filler for Nicole and Mike. I have to admit--I am beginning to look forward to Wednesdays. And although originally Chris and I were going to switch off--I think I'm going to do this as an every week event.

Wednesday, for instance, I arrived a bit early and was able to sit on the door step and watch for the van carrying the precious cargo to arrive. It was really neat the way E bounded out of the van to greet me as we began to walk to his house.

We have learned to spend our time together wisely--Phineas and Ferb, playing Angry Birds, walking dogs, getting drinks and snacks, and even doing homework (for the second time this past week).

The hour and a half or so that we are together rockets by each week--and I have been impressed with how smoothly it all goes. Of course I just jinxed that, didn't I?

Oh well--you know about other duties as assigned, but sometimes it really is nice when those duties are enjoyable.

Turkey on the Loose

It is the turkey time again. Be one.