Monday Musings - June 23, 2014

1. I realized that the summer solstice marked the end of a six month journey--progressively longer days. And now that it had passed, the light is already beginning to wane.

2. I heard this: One difference between dogs and cats is that dogs consider us to be family, while cats consider us to be staff.

3. An open pool, a warm summer day, clear water and bright sun. Add to this a stunning win over the baseball team from up north that shall remain nameless by the Orioles and you have a perfect afternoon.

4. It should be a good day. Partly sunny and highs in the low 80's. 

5. World Cup Soccer can be frustrating. On Sunday the U.S. team snatched a draw from the jaws of victory. 

6. Next holiday up? Independence Day. And after that? Vacation. 

7. Summer is here! Enjoy it.

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

Politicians and Lies

Election, more specifically primary, season is in full swing in Maryland. On Tuesday we get to vote to select the candidates for the general election in November. We are fortunate to be selecting a new governor, a complete assembly, our congressional representatives, and numerous other state and local positions. It has been a busy election season and my phone never stops ringing with candidate robo-phone calls disguised as surveys. 

The newest wrinkle was a one question survey. I am amazed that the answer I want to give for the survey question never seems to be among the choices. 

In watching the jockeying between the candidates over the tax issue, I was reminded of a joke I once heard:

How can you tell that a politician is lying? Their lips are moving.

Politicians apparently believe they have to tell the populace that they do not want to raise taxes by telling us that once they are elected they will find ways to generate new sources of state income. 

Excuse me--those would be taxes, right?  By definition?

And then there are the politicians that want to generate new sources of tax income but no reduce the individual tax burden in the state. No one is talking about finding new tax sources, for instance legalizing and taxing marijuana like Colorado, and passing the results of that increased revenue onto the residents of the state by reducing the individual income tax rate.

One of the most creative and oppressive ideas that is gaining traction is to put a gps in my car to tax me for miles driven. Why? Well, fuel efficient cars are causing the road taxes to drop. So of course that revenue needs to be protected. 

My answer--OK, but only if the state taxes on gasoline are removed. Period. If we are going to level the playing field, then let's level it completely. Do not implement a new tax source and keep a legacy tax that penalizes other people. On top of that, I am sure that I will wind up being taxed to install the gps in my vehicles, too.

And it goes on.

One new tax generates apparently needs to generate more mini taxes and fees. When is a fee not a tax? Never!

We need candidates that will not conform to the way it has always been done and come up with some new ideas. 

We legalized casinos a few years ago to support schools. How come we still do not have enough money for the schools? Where is that tax revenue going?

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

The Pool is Open

It is open! It is not fully finished, it still needs to be caulked, but the it is full of water and I was swimming in it yesterday afternoon.

After two weeks of work, a project that was supposed to take 2 days is finally complete--mostly. The full final completion is supposed to be Tuesday when the caulking is scheduled around a rainy forecast.

I'd love to scream that "surf's up," but I'll be happy just to jump in and take a nap on a floatie. Oh wait, I did that already. 

OK, I'll do it again. Why?

Easy.

Because I can.

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

Grocery Store Frustration--Part 2

Not satisfied with one frustrating trip to the grocery store this week, I opted for more fun last evening when Chris had a cooking emergency and needed one onion, two lemons, and quinoa. 

Now some may ask, what is quinoa? Well, it is a grain, but apparently it is more closely related to spinach and tumbleweeds than wheat and rye. That sounds appetizing.  Actually, I do enjoy it and she makes an incredible salad form it.

But armed with the idea that it was a grain I figured, how hard could it be to find a grain that I can't even spell in the store? Three items should take five minutes or less? Right?

Not so fast!

I went to my neighborhood Green Valley Marketplace for this quick event. The time was late, almost 7:30 pm as I sojourned out. 

I quickly found the lemons and the onion--I knew where they were, although they have strategically placed the onions out of sight and I felt  moment of panic as I rounded the last row in the produce section to find the onion display. And then the hunt began. Another safari through the savannah known as another illogically laid out grocery store.

I looked for the quinoa in the grain section near the rice and other grain type products. No luck. So I had the brilliant idea to check out the pasta aisle--because there seemed to be some small glimmer of similarity. Nope, not there either. 

I looked through the grain aisle again--slowly and deliberately hoping for a miracle of revelation. No miracle. Back to the pasta. Nope. I looked down a few other assorted aisles--but didn't find it in the condiments nor the olive section. I gave olives a shot since they seem to be the catchall for everything else.

Panic! This simple, focused expedition to the grocery store was becoming another frustrating event. Arghh!

I went to the counter for help. The response scared me. Quinoa? What is that? I began to fear that I was going to have to drive five miles to the Giant where I was sure to find this grain. But, after explaining that is was a grain-like substance the manager seemed to understand and took me to the sugar aisle. I was thinking, she is clueless--but no--there, sandwiched between the sugar and the flour was a small section devoted to lesser known grains whose names I did not even begin to recognize and after searching this section we found one small row of quinoa! I was saved!

I accepted the bag from her hand, called home to confirm the price and substance and made my way to the checkout, happy to have been successful in my quest, but frustrated again by the illogical shelf management system.

Another happy ending suitable for the movies!

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

Highway Bumper Cars

I remember that a a kid, I used to enjoy the bumper cars amusement park ride. It was one of my favorites because I could drive a vehicle and hit people. Even then, I remember the ride operator admonishing people not to intentionally crash into each other, although that was one of the intended outcomes of the ride. I remember the electric smell of the ride with the metal floors and the grid above our heard and the long pole connected to the cars which provided the electrical current to people the car in the director desired. It was fun, then.

But that is an amusement park ride.

I have become more and more concerned every day as I ply the highway about competitive drivers engaged in their own version of bumper cars where they almost, but not quite hit the car in front as they force their vehicles into too small spaces and depend upon the drivers around them to make room. I saw a car change lanes yesterday and was convinced it was going to take the fender from the car it was passing with it as it went. 

Too many video games and too little respect for the power of an ensuing collision are, I believe, creating the illusion of invincibility in the minds of overly aggressive drivers. 

A slow moving amusement park bumper car ride is far different that an collision at 70 mph. Impatience is no excuse. I have driven by some horrific accidents lately and it is only because modern vehicles have so many built in safety features that people are walking away with only scratches and bruises. 

I do not believe that more laws or law enforcement is the answer. We have enough. I wonder why, though, I see multiple speed traps on a Sunday morning when traffic is light and not during the times of the day when the overly aggressive drivers are weaving their way through traffic to gain a few yards advantage. It makes no sense to me. Why ticket someone for going too fast on an empty Sunday morning road instead of doing the hard work of making the highways safer?

No, I haven't been stopped, lately--but when the road is devoid of the usual clogging traffic it is easy to coast up to a comfortable road speed which is 15 mph over the unreasonably low speed limit on some of our highways. 

But I never play the real life version of bumper cars. I've been through too many accidents in my life and those are experiences that I do not care to repeat.

Drive smart!

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

Grocery Store Frustration Overflows

I soloed at the local Wegman's last evening collecting the critical supplies for the house because we have been too busy to actually go shopping for the past almost two weeks. The most critical item was coffee! The day does not start without coffee.

I was amazed at the multiple frustrations that I experienced while at the store. 

Grocery stores are not organized in a manner which makes sense to me.

For instance, why are olives in three separate locations? There is an olive bar, olives in the ethnic food section, and olives in the condiments section near the oils and pickles. I'm not sure of the relationship between olives and pickles. I needed a specific kind of olives for a recipe and the employee near the olive bar looked at me as if I had two heads when I asked for Kalamata Olives. I have no clue what they are, they were just on my list. I did finally find them next to a jar of kosher pickles. That makes sense, why?

And then, there was the excursion into the salad dressing aisle. Sadly, I knew what kind of salad dressing I needed. I also knew it was there, somewhere. And I looked, and looked, and looked for it. I finally found the brand name dressing on the bottom shelf near my feet.

The final straw, or so I thought, came as I was searching for the Sierra Mist. I never found it. I had a conversation with another evening shopper and we both agreed that stores hide popular products so that we will buy something else as we search. That is not how guys work. IF Sierra Mist is on my list and I cannot find it there is no substitute and I'm not going to waste my time trying to find it either. I left without Sierra Mist or any suitable replacement. Don't force me to go on an Easter Egg Hunt for a popular product!

Finally,  I was ready to check out and get home. Not so fast! Few checkout lines were open and so there were at least one, if not two persons already in line. I soon realized why. The checkout personnel were conducting a work slow down. Each item was painfully and meticulously scanned and bagged. A short few minute checkout turned into a painfully long event compounded by the fact that I really didn't want to be there in the first place. 

I noticed the questions. Did I find everything? I responded, "yes and then some," when I really wanted to unload about the Sierra Mist and the safari for the olives. But in the interest of getting out of the store, I gave the answer which allowed me to depart the quickest. 

I thought later about the question on the ATM card machine which asks: "Is the amount OK?" Two choices are provided: Yes and No. NO--the amount is not OK, I am paying way too much for this stuff!

Someone needs to construct a grocery store that makes sense and is efficient. Although I did not require any on this trip, why is the milk and dairy in the farthest corner from the doors? It makes no sense.

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

Pool Update--Nearing Completion

At the Beginning

As I wrote yesterday, there is almost nothing sadder than an empty pool on a hot summer day--and yesterday was that hot summer day. I longed to be floating on the surface of my crystal clear pool in the afternoon sun.

Demolition

But--the pool project continues. The coping and tile work are complete. There are a few small white coat repairs and the caulking which remain.

Coping Installed

But--water will begin returning into the pool today!  We should be swimming again by Saturday or, even possibly, as early as Friday!

Yay.

Coping and Tile

It is looking awesome and I can hardly wait. The sound of dollars flowing through the water pipes of the house should be the next big event. For up to three days!

-- Bob Doan - Elkridge, MD

Monday Musings - June 16, 2014

1. I heard this yesterday and it is so true: Any guy can be a father, but it is much harder to be a Dad.

2. I cannot think of a better way to spend Father's Day than brunch with the family followed by a great afternoon of checking out new wineries.

3. Driving should be a cooperative endeavor where everyone is working to help everyone get to their destination and not a speed competition.

Ethan and Jax in the Empty Pool

4. There is almost nothing sadder than an empty swimming pool during the summer!  It is gonna be 90 degrees today!

5. I like rain, mostly, but when it delays my personal construction projects, I get frustrated.

6. The election season is upon us and it is clear to me that people want a change, again. It would not be good to be a Congressional incumbent this year. I think something radical is going to happen. I'm not sure it will be good based upon what happened in Virginia last week.

7. I read a study a while back that indicated that in states that raised taxed during the past four years, tax revenue had actually fallen. 

8.  I miss baseball when the Orioles are not playing a night game that I can watch on TV.

9.  In case you missed the news yesterday, Iraq is falling apart.

10. Congratulations to the San Antonio Spurs who were crowned the champions of the NBA last night by defeating the Miami Heat.

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

Father's Day 2014

Father's Day has arrived. The annual event when the most underrated member of the family is recognized.

Take a moment to pause and remember Dad--give him a call and say thank you.

Honestly as a Dad I don't really need a gift or a card on Father's Day, nor do I expect one. Good Dad's are hard working guys who get their satisfaction from the happiness and success of their family. 

That written--Happy Father's Day to all of the guys who are Dad's If you get a gift, a card, or a call, don't forget to say thank-you. They mean it and it's ok to blush a bit and stop acting like the stoic stereotype we think we should be at times like these.

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

Hockey, Basketball and Summer

Winter sports are finally ending and moving off the stage in time for summer.

Dustin Brown of the Los Angeles Kings celebrates with the Stanley cup after the Kings 3-2 double overtime victory over the New York Rangers in Game 5 at Staples Center, Friday.

Photograph by: Harry How, Getty Images , The Canadian Press

Last night, or more accurately, this early (as in wee hours) morning, the Los Angeles Kings won Lord Stanley's Cup and returned as Champions for the second time in three seasons. This would not hardly garner a passing mention in my blog except for my newly discovered connection to the Kings. Their Captain, Dustin Brown, grew up and played high school hockey in my hometown and is a huge local sports hero. He even brought the Stanley Cup to Ithaca during the last Championship and cemented his place as a true hero. And so--congratulations to the Kings, to Dustin and to everyone who follows the Kings, they are a class act. 

On to the other winter sport which is slowly and painfully grinding to an end, NBA Basketball. The San Antonio Spurs (often abbreviated SAS which confuses me because that means Special Air Service) have a commanding 3-1 game lead over the thuggish Miami Heat. A few weeks ago I read a story about the difference in support for the Sours versus the Heat. If this were an election, 49 states would vote for the Spurs and only one, Florida, would vote for the Heat. This series could, thankfully, be over Sunday night allowing summer sports to finally assume their rightful place on the pedestal before the monolithic and uncompromising NFL returns to suck the life out of fans everywhere.

I am satisfied with the Kings' victory and I can now completely focus upon Baseball--which is my true sports addiction.

Summer is here and it's baseball time. 

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD