Patrick and Tina Get Married

It should be the title for a movie--or at least a book.

The long awaited wedding finally happened and in a true-to-form manner--it was simply awesome.

There was drama, confusion, anxiety, changed plans, and perfect weather. There was something for everyone.

Most importantly, two people very much in love were married. After-all--isn't that what it is all about?

We each had our parts to play in the movie that is "Patrick and Tina Get Married" but the real stars were Patrick and Tina. Through it all, they each demonstrated a grand sense of humor and a knack for keeping their "eyes on the ball" rather than getting slogged down in the more mundane aspects of what was swirling around them.

I owe huge a thank-you to many people who worked really hard to make the day come together, and especially the rehearsal dinner, which we hosted at the house with the assistance of our best friends: Fran and Mary. I am always amazed how much work there is to do before hand to make something like a dinner come off and look so effortless.

I was reminded through the planning and execution of this wedding of how many people are involved--each with their part to play, to make the day a success.

I also want to thank the guests who traveled great distances to be part of the celebration. Each of them also played their part by attending and witnessing the event. Remember--not everyone got an invitation--so it certainly was an honor to receive one and then to follow through make the effort to actually attend was especially appreciated.

And then to the parents of the bride--thanks for raising such a special woman who can love and appreciate my son. They are perfect together. It always brings a smile to my face when I see or hear them coming through the door--together or separately.

So now, I'm already waiting for the sequel--as the marriage begins. Perhaps the first sequel will be titled something like "Hot Nights in Key West." I hope they are having fun in one of my favorite places in the world. It just occurred to me how much fun I have living vicariously though the experiences of my children and their families.

God bless you both--Tina and Patrick, today and always.

After the Wedding

We are out on the town in Annapolis with Mike and Nicole and Scott and
Pennie. A great way to chill after the pace of the last couple of days.

Even today we were busy cleaning up and retrieving the arch from the
hotel.

The memory of a great wedding and reception partying with family and
friends remains fresh and makes me smile.

There are so many people I need to thank for making the whole process
a success.

But my love and prayers go you out to Patrick and Tina.

From the Reception

And here it is as we sit here from Patrick and Tina's reception. The
party of the year is well underway after the long awaited wedding.

In a word. It was awesome.

Party on dudes.

Wedding Day 2010: Patrick and Tina

And today is the day.

The timing is set--the plans are made and mostly set.

The guests are arriving and most of us survived the Rehearsal dinner without incident.

The rehearsal went off well and everything seems ready.

Panic is setting in--and things are falling into place--but we will all be ready this evening.

Family vs Work: And the Winner Is?

The situation:

A major presentation due at work or travel to attend a grandchild's wedding? What are you going to do?

For conflicts involving big family events: marriages, funerals, reunions, vacations, kid sporting events; the family should win out over work nearly every time!

I think it is important to understand that nearly everyone believes this to be true, so when people use the excuse that work won't allow you to attend--they all know that you don't want to attend and are too disingenuous just to say so! I mean, I have been in the rare situation where I've been called away to support some important operation--but those are generally pretty rare.

People know!

And it is important to have a healthy perspective of work requirements vs personal life situations.

To begin binning the demands on my life--I look at life and priorities as follows:

1, God (personal relationship, not duties associated with religious organizations)
2. Personal Health and Well Being
3. Family - spouse and kids (and grand kids)
4. Work (to include volunteer activities, like churches and fraternal organizations)
5. Extended Family and relatives
6. Friends
7. Home maintenance and repairs
8. Someone I just met
9. A stray animal

So by using the above order, I find I'm getting it right more than not!

So let me give you some examples.

Attending Ethan's Tee-ball games--priority 3
Mowing the lawn - Priority 7
Playing Racquetball - priority 2
Taking a nap - priority 2
Running out in the middle of dinner to view a house for Jeremy - priority 3
Enjoying Happy Hour with Friends on Friday night - priority 2
Helping Jeremy Move (OMG that is gonna be a priority 3, ugh!)
Helping a friend make a trip to the landfill - priority 6

So you kinda get it.

Now--to explain some of the weirdness in the priorities.

Mowing the lawn contributes to the upkeep of the home and is a priority 7 item--but if I don't get it done in a timely manner, it could become a priority 3 issue--where the spouse begins to need it accomplished for her well being.

Although taking a nap contributes to my personal well being, I don't have to take a nap to be happy so I generally do not take naps--but I dream about that afternoon siesta all the time!

So in answer to the question about attending the grandchild's wedding--the wedding wins! Hands down--even if the work conflict is church related and it's the senior pastor of the church. I've seen our pastor leave for these things. And see my blog on delegation to assist in resolving the problems associated with priority conflicts.

Finally, don't let priority 1 and 4 get fuzzy.

Many people do!

Oil, Money and Frustration

It's the President's fault!

Which president?

Well, BP's of course?

Really, for the lack of effort on the clean up and the oil slick heading for the Florida coast?

Yeah--the President of the U.S. and BP and whomever else is involved.

Where is Congress???

Our representatives are asleep at the switch it seems. They are consumed by special interest items but are not mobilizing to put some sanity in the situation that has developed in the Gulf of Mexico.

And where are the movie stars who always seem to be campaigning for some crusade. Haven't heard a peep from them, either. Don't they care as much about the Gulf as they do polar bears in the Arctic?

And the thousands of barrels per day of oil keeps leaking and no one is doing anything except wringing their hands and watching the oil begin wash up on the beaches. We are looking at an environmental catastrophe greater than Chernobyl. And we laughed at the Russians when it happened.

Really? really!

From the Wall Street Journal here is a good explanation of the situation:

Mr. Obama's political challenges were evident in Alabama Monday, where leaders and residents said their state has been deprived of vital resources for fighting the spill. Alabama Gov. Bob Riley has been vocal about his dismay with the federal effort to protect Perdido Pass, a waterway near the Florida border, and Perdido Bay, a scenic waterway central to the fishing and tourism industry in both Alabama and Northern Florida.

This is a political issue--and it should be an environmental issue.

And now for the rub, also from this article:

Mr. Obama said he has begun "constructive" talks with BP on the creation of an independently operated recovery fund to ensure "legitimate claims are dealt with fairly, justly, promptly." He said he and BP officials hoped to announce a deal on the issue Wednesday following a meeting at the White House.

As a sovereign country--there is no need for constructive talks. Give BP the bill for the clean up--and then maybe someone will get off their bloated bottoms and start fixing the damage and preventing more!

Nuff said!

Delegation--The Secret to Success

We all intuitively know that if we can keep our priorities straight and work from the most important to the least, that life will be good and we will be fulfilled, right? And if we don't have enough time or energy to get something done--well as long as it's a low priority then "no harm, no foul."

Hold it right there.

We all also know this is so totally, not true!

All of our priorities need to be completed from the most important to the least. At least that's how we feel.

If it didn't need to be done, then it wouldn't have a priority. No matter where in the schema it falls out.

That then is the problem. It all needs to be done and we all know there is never enough time to get it all done.

And then there are those conflicting appointments--and problems trying to resolve which one to attend.

The secret to success? Delegation.

This is where the priority system really works. When there are truly competing priorities--then delegate someone else to attend in your place. That way, effectively, you can be in multiple places simultaneously.

Monday Musings - June 14, 2010

1. It is Flag Day. Flag Day is celebrated on June 14. It commemorates the adoption of the flag of the United States, which happened that day by resolution of the Second Continental Congress in 1777.

2. 30 days from today, we begin our trek to Florida for a couple of weeks.

3. They changed managers, but the Orioles are still as bad. Maybe there is something deeper wrong with the team. At their current pace they will finish the season at 43-119, narrowly missing the modern era record for most losses set by the 1962 NY Mets at 120, but tying the 2003 Detroit Tigers for second! It should get better next year though, the 1963 Mets only had 111 losses!

4. Despite the calendar saying it is still officially springtime, summer is here with the heat and humidity. Bring it on--it is what we wait for from October to May--summer!

5. The USA soccer (football) team did OK on Saturday--but I really hate it when people say that a tie is a win. No. A tie is not a loss--but it certainly is not a win. There we go, setting low expectations again so we can salvage a small measure of national pride from something we are just not a good as the rest of the world at. Although, the team was ranked 14th in the world at the start of the tourney.

6. Ran across the following in a CNN article about an executioner in Utah: "The death penalty," the officer says, "is nothing more than sending a defective product back to the manufacturer. Let him fix it." Not too sure how I feel about that statement.

7. And so the week begins. As weeks go--this one is special. But then every week and every second of our time is special. It is amazing how we fail to respect the power of the second in our lives. In a second--everything can change, yet we waste so much time just trying to decide--or worse, just waiting for time to pass--aimlessly.

Days to Go!

The wedding is days away. Five to be precise.

It seems that almost every available moment is consumed by wedding this or that.

And in too short a time, it will be over.

The guests will be gone and live will again begin to take on a sense of normalcy.

But until then--we must find time to enjoy our friends and family as they dutifully assemble. We must not get so caught up in the busy-ness that we fail to appreciate all of those who have traveled to celebrate this marriage with us.

So today, we washed cars (4) and shopped and watched the O's get obliterated by the Mets on TV and Germany annihilate Australia in World Cup play.

And we had some great quality time with Lucas and Jeremy and Nicole as well as the bride and groom.

In the pool--on a floatie, in the sun. Did I say hot sun? Bring it on.

Summer is really here!

Good Fences and Questionable Neighbors

Robert Frost wrote a poem titled Mending Wall which ends with the line "Good fences make good neighbors."

I never really believed his assertion--but as I stay in the same house as many years as we have recently, I am beginning to become a fan.

But even with a good fence--sometimes the neighbors can be a problem when the fence is on the wrong side.

Take for instance the scene pictured here. Garbage strewn on the ground--where it has been since before garbage day on Tuesday (and I took the image Thursday evening)--and hasn't moved. The garbage cans were taken to the street, where as I write this, they remained until Friday morning. A raccoon feasted on the trash--but here the remnants waiting for next big rainstorm to wash it into my yard. The fence behind the mess would be fine for containment, if only the trash was on the inside instead of the outside.

I have the honor of collecting a lot of their refuse from my yard after storms. Discarded water bottles that fall from the neighbors vehicles as they get out and which just lie there waiting for a storm to cleanse their drive and deposit them in my yard where I will then clean them up.

I would just pick up their trash, like I collect their paper from the street every day, or like Chris picks up the remnants of their annuals planting--the discarded pots which remained next to the newly planted flowers; but we are not making any progress with them. The mess in the yards and the lack of pride in the exterior of their home is getting worse and worse.

I remember that I hated it when they installed the fence separating their yard from ours, it made it seem as if we were surrounded by fortresses of solitude. Now I wish that they could contain themselves within the walls. It is bad enough that I can look inside the fenced yard from my bedroom window--but to have to walk and drive past the mess daily is even more difficult.

The wildlife loves the mess. We have many critters which come to visit and I worry about rabies. Our pets are all vaccinated--but what if there is rabid saliva on the garbage I'm picking up? or is that an irrational fear?

Should I just clean up the mess since it is I who cannot tolerate the sight of it? Would I be insulting them by helping them?

We live in an area without a homeowners association--I am not a fan of associations, but in this instance I'm beginning to see the benefits of having someone around to at least attempt to enforce basic standards of cleanliness.

I'm conflicted.

I want to say something to them--but what do I say?

I've considered asking if there was any way I could help them keep up with the mess. I don't think that would go over very well.

I'll probably continue to suffer in silence--paralyzed by the fear of turning peaceful neighbors who are messy into antagonistic ones. And they did give me four tickets to see the Orioles defeat the Red Sox last Sunday.