Finding Joy

It is there, waiting for me if I just pause for as moment to enjoy it.

Jax Showing Joy

Joy.

A strange, small word that is easily lost in the hustle of my life. A word that is not often used by itself, but more often combined into other words like "enjoy" and "joyless."

Sometimes I find joy in watching others, like in the photo, I remember Jax rolling on the ground after a soccer game just enjoying life and playing with his grandma.

Yesterday I found joy in two seemingly small events.

First, my allergist told me that I could reduce my trips to his office for shots to once per week instead of the two times per week schedule that I have been on since June. A small thing, yes--but very freeing. And my arms are beginning to get sore as the dosage in each shot had been increased. And they itch. Do I feel better? I guess so--we will see in the springtime.

Second, Chris and I removed the leaves, again, from the front lawn as darkness was falling. It was good to be outside working around the house until dark. OK--5pm-ish. It would have been nicer had it been 9pm or so, but it was nice to be outside.

Joy in the small things.

Sunset in November

The orange ball hung low on the horizon casting its red glow onto the still autumn clothed trees making them seem to be on fire against the crystal clear cyan sky.

I am not a fan of seeing the sun setting as I am leaving work, but I could not help but be awed by the colors in front of me as I was driving.

I had a hard time not looking directly into the bright ball of fire--I was almost mesmerized by it--seeing it for what seemed like the first time after a hurricane and seemingly weeks of gloomy weather.

I wished it was the hot sun of summer, baking the interior of my truck to temperatures above 100 degrees turing the cab into an oven-like place that I could crawl into like a lizard looking for warmth.

But it was not.

The day was cold, 45 degrees, seemed like colder, as I drove away from my place of work.

By the time I arrived home--the sun had set and all that remained of it were the oranges and reds of the sunset--a fading memory of the day as the stars began to illuminate the darkening sky.

I like dawn more than sunset because dawn offers the promise of the day ahead, while sunset is the period at the end of the day. Time has run out--like the final gun or horn at a sporting event. The day is over.

Not even an overtime period to try to correct the miscues of the day. Daylight is fading into black and with it, the promise of the light.

The sunset silhouetted the bare trees along the highway as I approached my home, bathing their black branches with the colors of the dying day.

Although the sunset was breathtaking in its diminishing glory, nothing good ever happens after dark especially during the morning hours right after midnight it seems.

Tomorrow the dawn comes again, with the promise of a new hopes for a new day which is then bookended by yet another sunset.

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

Do Fans Understand Sportsmanship?

Without baseball and in the continuing wait for the hockey season that probably never will be, I have been reading deeper into some of the stories surrounding sports.

The following statement, reported on NFL.com, was made by a player, Brian Urlacher of the Chicago Bears, on Sunday: "I could give a crap about what people think on the street. Get mad at me all you want, I could give ... I could give a crap about what people say," Urlacher told ESPN Chicago's"Waddle & Silvy" show on Monday.

The situation apparently was that Brian Urlacher congratulated a player on the other team for a great play--I believe it was an interception. Turns out that the other player, Daniel Manning, was a former teammate and friend. Brian demonstrated something that we rarely see in sports: sportsmanship. What a concept. And the fans could not appreciate the display.

I side with Brian in this one. I often acknowledge my opponent on the racquetball court after a great serve or kill shot. There is nothing wrong with appreciating a good play--even by the opponent. Why? Because it is just a game. Athletes are not gladiators in the coliseum trying to kill each other. After the game--they are still friends.

Brian goes on to say, "When the play is over, it's over," he said. "It's not like I have to go out there and be a jerk to him because it's during the game and I'm a tough guy. That's not the way it is. They're my friends. Between the whistles I'm going to try and get them, and when the play is over we'll go back to doing whatever."

Great sportsmanship. We need more of it!

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

Monday Musings - November 12, 2012

1. Weekend trips are better when monday is a holiday to recover.

2. Who knew NASCAR was a violent sport with the crews of two teams having a brawl after a race.

3. I enjoy warm November days more than I might normally appreciate them because I know what is coming.

4. The fog drifting into the now bare branches of the trees this morning gave the scene outside my window an eerie feeling for the start of the day.

5. Why do holidays around the house seem to quickly become work days? My list of planned activities is huge--culminating with the hanging of the Christmas lights outside the house.

6. Traveling on weekends, while fun and enjoyable, always leaves me with more things to around the house.

7. Isn't it neat that our Congress and the President get to pick-up right where they left off? Staring at the edge of the fiscal cliff and neither side wants to give in. The losers? We the people.

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

Out the Hotel Window - Williamsburg, VA

I considered calling this autumn's last gasp. Out of the window this morning, bathed in the dawn's light was a stand of trees, still robed in their autumn colors.

A last reminder of color and life before the dark times begin.

It was an appropriate end of the season weekend at the Great Wolf Lodge resort filled with autumn colors.

-- Bob Doan, writing from Williamsburg, VA

Lost Weekends

Sometimes it feels like I am cramming three days of activity into a two day weekend.

Looking at my calendar, this will apparently be the norm for the next couple of weekends. Short trips to here or there coupled by intense activity around the house.

Weekends have become an extension of my too busy life and not a respite from the 5-day "rat race" that I usually look forward to enjoying. The time of rest, recreation, and recuperation that used to embody weekends has been overtaken by continuous activity and appointments.

It is sad that my weekends have been so transformed--although I do get to sleep in until 6 am, the around the house maintenance projects are not going away and the increased darkness associated with the season makes it harder to schedule completion of the outside projects. Take, for instance, the ornamental grasses surrounding the swimming pool perimeter. They are still there.

And then, on Monday the Christmas lights go up. I celebrate Veteran's Day by preparing for the day after Thanksgiving when the Christmas season arrives to light up the landscape. Turkeys to Santas! Sounds like a Rockefeller Center show of some kind.

Just another extension of the too busy weekend.

And "that" season is lurking right around the calendar preparing to suck all available time into shopping and preparations. I hope I can do all of my shopping via computer and Amazon this year.


-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

Rainbow in my Mind

Driving to work the other morning, in the cold dawn light beneath a dark, gray storm cloud filled sky I realized that at least it was morning.

I could see--thanks to the ending of daylight savings time.

But now it is dark earlier--and one day this week I have already both departed the house and returned in darkness.

Ugh!

I need a rainbow to remind me that even when everything seems gray and drab, there can still be bright colors to brighten up the scenery.

Rainbows, it seems, most often appear against the backdrop of gray skies.

So with all of the developing darkness--sunset occurring before 5pm and all, I really needed a fond memory and went into my picture file and found this one--from September, to remind me that even the darkest clouds give way to lightness.

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

Election reflections

Yes, it is over--or is it just beginning? At least the robo-phone calls and commercials have stopped.

During the course of yesterday, I talked to a few people about the election and the results and I found a couple of interesting themes.

The electorate voted for no change.

We continue to desire a dysfunctional congress, high unemployment. sporadic economic growth, a split congress, and a non-existent foreign policy.

The loser had flaws that he could not overcome, not the least of which were his loose tongue and out of touch with the voters demeanor.

Some memorable things that hurt the challenger: talking about buying a horse for his wife after the Olympics because she liked the equestrian events, talking about being friends with NASCAR team owners and selecting a running mate that "strengthened" the ticket by scaring the older voters which may have resulted in the loss of Wisconsin, Florida, and Ohio.

So now we get to watch both sides appear to be bipartisan while not giving an inch as the economy continues to sputter and the U.S. loses more ground overseas.

We did it. We voted for more of the same.

The reality TV show that is the our political leadership has been renewed for at least two more years.

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

And the Winner is . . .

The every four year race for leading the greatest nation on Earth has ended.

The people have spoken. The results are surely mixed, but the viability of our way of government and electing leaders has been reaffirmed.

That is most the important thing to remember, whether your candidate won or lost.

I watched CNN last evening as the polls were closing and they were covering the election much like a sporting event--almost like Monday Night Football. They even had a catchy title: "Election Night in America."

I'm not sure electing a president should be covered like a football game.

There were lines at our polling place for the first time ever! And I have voted in every election--not just presidential elections, since we moved here. It was awesome to see so many people committed to exercising their rights to vote.

But now, at least the robo-calls and election ads will end. I won't be getting five or six calls per night anymore. I wonder who I am going to talk to or what I am going to do with my time now that I don't have to answer the phone anymore at odd hours while I am either eating or doing projects around the house.

On one issue I do feel that voters in Maryland sold their souls--and that was the referendum on expanding gambling. The promise of more $$'s has clouded good judgement. Just saying! Welcome to the new Nevada. Legalized prostitution will be next, I'm sure.

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD

Living for no Tomorrow

Does it matter?

Yeah--it does.

Driving yesterday, I heard a song on the radio. I have heard the song many times before and I usually sing along with it a that mindless way that I do while driving.

The song is Good to be Alive and it is performed by Jason Gray.

Yesterday was different. One part of the lyrics (as it usually does) really hit me yesterday--

I wanna live like there's no tomorrow

Love like I'm on borrowed time

It's good to be alive

I won’t take it for granted

I won’t waste another second

All I want is to give you

A life well lived, to say “thank you”

And I questioned myself for a long time in the heavy Maryland rush hour traffic.

Can I do that? How would things be different if I lived like that?

I have heard it said the "No one is promised tomorrow." By the way--that is not a bible verse although many would have you believe that it is--the concept may be there but the exact words are not. But, recognizing that tomorrow may be very different.

This brought me to another song--a country song by Tim McGraw called Live Like You Were Dying and a series of lyrics in the refrain of that song--

I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,

I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.

And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,

And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying.

An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,

"To live like you were dyin'.

And I wonder, 

I know a people who are there right now. Facing the "no tomorrow" who are trying to come to live like it is not going to be there. These songs suggest that it is a freeing experience. I see the hurt and the conflict in their lives and relationships. It is clearly not the fantasy land that the song writer's suggest.

But even with that in mind, and since I still have the belief that tomorrow is going to be there and be better, what is it going to take for me to crawl out from behind appointment filled schedule that I'm living and truly begin living?  Because, I think I will not only be a better person to be around--but I'll enjoy watching the sunrise over the ocean.

-- Bob Doan, Elkridge, MD