Green Evening

Sitting on the deck last evening, watching the rain fall straight down from the sky to water the plants and the lawn, I realized that one of the things that I love about summer is the green.  The leaves on the trees make a rolling, enveloping canopy of green that envelopes my mind and helps me to relax after a particularly hectic day.

Of course the glass of wine in my hand assisted in that effort as well.

I would not be well suited to live in a desert environment--of that I am sure--I prefer green leaves to ubiquitous sand. 

In addition to being a comforting sight in the trees, the green backdrop also serves to highlight the colors of the flowers around the yard, like the hibiscus that Chris imaged the other day. We winter these plants in the house to enjoy their blooms year after year--during the winter season parts of the house look like a greenhouse--but as soon as the weather warms--outside they go to begin recovering from the less than ideal growing conditions we subject them to from November to about April. But they survive, and this plant is over 10 years old--having made it through a number of those dark seasons in the house.

This year, we have a few additional treats around the yard as well. At least two families of wrens have decided that we have a pleasurable environment and the young birds are now heading out on their own--although still staying pretty close to their parents. They are fun to watch as they fly single file from one tree to another and then squawk at the cats who are contained within the fence in the yard. For such small birds they sure can squawk and sing loudly.

But looking at the leaves and the different shades of green and blue-green that they add to the canvass of the world is also enjoyable. I remember the bare limbs of the winter ready trees, and now these green, leaf laden trees are a beautiful sight to enjoy. I want to keep it etched into my mind--long into the dark days of winter.

Tell the Truth (really?)

I had an interesting discussion the other night about being truthful.

The conversation started over a career opportunity that was being considered and once we pealed away the layers we got down to the basic question of:

Why don't we tell the truth when asked important questions?

Why, I began wondering in my mind and we pursued the discussion--apparently because we don't want to hurt the other person's feelings (OK--that is a good point). So maybe there is an upside?  probably not.

When we are not honest in providing a response to a question, and the other person subsequently makes a decision based upon that answer--it is important to realize that we cannot and must not harbor ill will. One person makes a decision in good faith based upon the input from another--and somehow usually the decision-maker becomes the problem.  How unfair is that when the problem is the person providing the defective answer.

It happens with a lot of things--purchases of big things like houses and cars, and washers and dryers. It also happens when dealing with vacation spots and finances.  It is amazing how we play the martyr and not tell the truth and then expect compensation. Have you ever heard someone say: "I hope you are enjoying your vacation, because I didn't want to come here at all!"

That's wrong.

OK--note to self--there are a couple of things we probably shouldn't respond truthfully to if the results are bad and these are usually those leading questions from women about age, weight, and looks!  So guys, keep that in mind--I'm reminded of the Geico commercial about Honest Abe trying to answer his wife in a leading question he was asked.

Despite these few exceptions though,we need to be truthful with each other--say what we mean and mean what we say.

And, tell the truth--really (mostly?)!

Dogs

I took a moment the other day to consider my dog, Makayla.

It was as I was selling an old dog crate which had been in storage for a couple of years and the person who was buying it brought his puppy along to check it out and give it her seal of approval--which she did. He had had the puppy for three days--and so was still getting used to its habits and was also in the middle of trying to get it trained.  A never-ending process it seems.

I allowed Makayla out to play with the puppy--who was very accepting of the bigger dog. And of course, Makayla was fantastic with the puppy and made her feel welcomed and safe.

Makayla: Duck Hunter!

As I was chatting with the puppy's owner, I mentioned a few of the dogs that I have had as friends in the past, specifically Meghan and Nufi; and how they were great, well trained companions, as is Makayla.

I love looking into Makayla's eyes--which I do nearly every day, and seeing the calm acceptance looking back at me from her furry face. I was also reminded of her as a puppy, and now a dog and how she in three short years has developed into such a faithful companion.

Where would we be without dogs to fill our lives with unconditional love and acceptance?

Lightning Bugs

It was kind of magical last evening as Chris and I sat outside talking about the day and our plans for the future and the summer ahead.  On the calendar it is still officially Springtime, but given the temperatures of last week, and the length of the days we are experiencing right now--we know it is really more Summertime.  And one little harbinger confirming the beginning of the Summer season was out to greet us last evening--a firefly or, if you prefer a lightning bug.

We had one lone firefly dancing in the cool evening air for our entertainment and enjoyment last evening. Being the first one of the season, it was especially significant as we both reminisced about summers past and chasing and capturing fireflies as children and putting them into jars so that we could enjoy their eerie light on demand--but releasing them, unlike so many other bugs which were summarily executed, back into the night so that their lights  would continue to fascinate and entertain us.

The evening was cool--almost crisp , and the air had been cleansed of the oppressive humidity of last week. Some mosquitoes were also annoying us, as mosquitoes are born to do--but we engaged in a bit of chemical warfare to thwart their attacks.

But that firefly most certainly caught our attention. I remembered summer evenings past when the canopy of tulip poplars above us would twinkle by the light of fireflies, as if filled by thousands of stars, and smiled knowing we are still on the upside of summer--the season I dream of every day from October until April.

It is funny how one, lone firefly can help us to recall the good times of our past and help us to look forward to so many more--thinking of the grandsons chasing them in the yard on still to come summer evenings brings a smile to my heart.

Monday Musings - June 13, 2011

1. Weiner shouldn't have.

2. Storms remind us of the power of nature.

3. Note to friends: next time we hear the rumble of thunder, let's get out of the pool!

4. A bottle of wine, some cheese and crackers, and planked salmon--what could be a better evening?

5. Something that makes me appreciate the pace of life around the house on a day-to-day basis is watching two grandsons overnight! While they are a joy, they sure do turn up the energy level in the house.

6. I confess that I am not an NBA basketball fan anymore, but I was cheering for anybody other than the Miami Heat to win the championship--and it happened. Congrats to the Dallas Mavericks for putting the beasts of the NBA back in the box.

7. I watched a movie the other day and they postulated that riding the roller coaster of life and marriage is far more desirable than riding the merry-go-round.

8. A funny thing happened with the pool yesterday--I decided to add some heat so we could enjoy it better, but by the time the temperature got to the right place in the pool, storms came through and made it too cold to swim anyway.  Thankfully, we did spend a couple hours in the pool, even in its cool state earlier in the day. These 60-some degree nights are taking a toll on the temperature of the water.

9. I am in shock thinking about the upcoming summer vacation. We leave in less than four weeks. It is funny--over a year in planning is coming to reality and I'm still going to be in the panic mode when it actually gets here.

10. It is supposed to be cooler this week--I miss the 90's already!

Calla Lilly Sunday

As I was walking Makayla this morning, I took a moment to consider this bright yellow flower in the yard.


It has been in place almost a month and is every bit as beautiful a the day we planted it to bring some much needed color to that portion of the gardens. I enjoy looking at it almost as much as it enjoys growing there.

It makes me smile when I see it there with the butterfly bush busily growing in the background.

Summer flowers and butterflies, damp dew covered morning grass and a clear blue sky.

I love being able to enjoy mornings.

When One plus One is One

I have been thinking about marriages and relationships--perhaps it is because two of my children are celebrating anniversaries this coming week, or that I have seen the drama play out on in the news media as another political person destroys his marriage, or maybe a part of a discussion that I had last evening.  But I woke up this morning and was reminded that 1+1=1 is an equation that can be used to define marriage.

I love math, and using math to help understand the life is useful and this equation really helps me understand the concept of marriage.

When two people are in a relationship (but not married) they are a couple, but the equation is 1+1=2.  They are still two individuals although they are together. If something doesn't go their way--they can and often do part company. That is the way it should be, until they find the person that makes them complete--that fills in the gaps and helps them to see what they have been missing from life and relationships.  We were not meant to go through life alone.  We are meant to be part of a team--the team defined by marriage.

The transformation between two people in a relationship and a marriage occurs through commitment to each other. The commitment to change the equation to read 1+1=1. It is not the ceremony that does this--the ceremony is the public profession that the couple is transforming from two individuals into a single new creation.  I have seen marriages where the commitment wasn't there and they tried to remain two separate individuals living together.  These were defective marriages and they failed. Ultimately, I believe selfishness played a factor, too.

The mystery of marriage is that each person brings everything that they are and that they have into the marriage. Nothing is held back. It is an "all in" situation, a selfless situation. It takes 100 percent of each person to make the new creation--the marriage.  Even the thought process needs to transform--the two most dangerous words in a marriage are: "I want."  The "I want" needs to be replaced with "I believe we." Whenever there is an "I" it should be followed closely by a "we."  It is a hard idea--and I know that some people can't get by the idea that they are "giving up" their identity; but they are looking at it wrong. I confess--sometimes I still use the "I want" in my thinking and it usually gets me into trouble--sometimes it works to transform it into a "I want, do you think we" situation.

The idea behind the equation of 1+1=1 is that the new creation--the sum of one person plus one person, requires everything from both to be a one new creation.  That means--using the individuality of each to improve and create the marriage.  Don't lose it--use it. Don't hold back--give it all up to each other. 

Since it is commitment that ultimately provides the foundation for a marriage--is it possible for people to be married without the ceremony? Sure. The ceremony is the public profession that lives are being transformed: two lives become one from this day forward. I know couples who have not made the public profession--and gotten the piece of paper, but they are married--because they are committed to each other and have fused their identities and their creativity into one unit. I would urge them to make that public profession to acknowledge the transformation that has already occurred.

Marriage reminds me that individually I am less than whole--and to be whole, I need to commit to another person.  Hence--1+1=1.  All of me, plus all Chris in full commitment to each other makes us a new creation and fully whole people.

The Storm

Last evening some ferocious thunderstorms blew through the area.

I stood on the covered deck and watched the trees waving in the wind--it was a magnificent sight--the dark gray clouds and the trees punctuated by the flashes of lightening followed by the peals of thunder. This was an especially mean storm as the branches of the trees swayed above us--

The lightening flashed followed almost immediately by the thunder which really is a sonic boom crashing through the evening air.

Makayla, although a bit unnerved by the ferocity of the storm, stayed by my side as I sat on the porch watching the wind and rain.  I was reminded of watching storms roll down the valley from the front porch of the house I grew up in.  The smell of the air, cleansed and freshened by the rain is something which lingers in my memory even today.

The way the trees bend--even though we think of them as solid, is amazing in the face of the storm.

My pool was filled with the leaves torn from those trees--but all of the ones near our house weathered the worst the storm could dish out.

The lawns drank in the water from the sky--it has been hot and dry for a couple weeks.

Evening thunderstorms--I really enjoy them--and the temperature dropped 13 degrees--from 90 to 77.

And just a quickly as it blew in--it was gone and nothing but a memory, and the resulting clean up.

Follow Up to Daily Fun

I was successful this morning in changing my attitude form a do or die match into recreational fun.

Did I win?

No.

Does is matter?

Thankfully, no--because I was enjoying the competition and the recreation and not so strung out about winning or losing.

Maybe this will work for me if I continue to focus on playing and the joy of playing and not be so concerned about winning. I think my desire for the Orioles to win is beginning to expand into other areas of my life.

When Having Fun Becomes a Daily Trial

I firmly believe we need to have fun living life as much as possible.

Some areas of life are not much fun--but others need to be fun and when they stop being fun it is time to examine what's really going on. 

I've been struggling lately on the racquetball court--and something that I love has become a trial every time I step onto the court.  And it is not that I am losing--I know how to lose, it is that I continue to do dumb things and don't seem to be learning from making the same stupid shot over and over again. I am allowing my frustration with myself to take the fun out of something that I love doing and something that helps me remain sharp and in shape.

I hate running for running sake--the only time I apprecaite running is when I'm being chased.

And the are other areas of life which can become a fun black hole if we are not careful.

Perspective--that is what we need. remember why we do some of the things we do--because we enjoy them. And when the enjoyment is gone, then it is time examine a bit deeper what is going on.

So last evening as I was floating in the pool, I took a moment to examine the stress I'm putting on myself in areas that I don't need to carry stress and I resolved that I am going to start having fun again and not get so tight about these things.

i mean--I do some things because I enjoy them.  So I need to enjoy them again, and have fun.

I have enough things in my life that are not fun and are really serious.  So I need to really guard the line and not allow recreation activities to cross over into the the realm of life and death type of situations.

I'll let you know how this works out for me.